Live a Beautiful Story

Awareness and changes to deal with elder abuse

2011-03-03T17:08:00.004-06:00

I have taken a couple months off from posting and now I have a lot of catching up to do.

Although elder abuse has gotten attention and legislation in recent years, it appears to be on the rise still.

As reported in the New York Times "New Old Age" blog, a federal report highlights the inadequacies of adult protective services around the country.

One possible bright light:

The chairman of the Special Committee on Aging, Senator Herb Kohl, Democrat of Wisconsin, reintroduced the Elder Abuse Victims Act at Wednesday's hearing. The bill would establish an office of elder justice within the federal Justice Department charged with protecting the elderly by strengthening law enforcement responses to abuse.

A good start, but other measures are in order as well. Definitely a topic for future posts!

Counselors, don your capes...

2010-12-20T17:17:00.003-06:00

Too often attorneys (at least certain breeds of attorneys) behave like their mission is to save the world. Now, a recently established blog combines legal issues and superheros, as noted in this New York Times piece.

Although the blog considers the application of real-world law to imaginary comic-book situations, the authors have a semi-serious angle:

"I think we both hope the blog has a certain educational component," such as insight into the thought process of attorneys in dealing with legal problems, says one of the two bloggers.

Estate planning for digital assets

2010-12-14T13:11:00.003-06:00

As our lives, or at least our personal information, become more electronic and computer-based, many people begin to wonder about the digital information they have stored on computers, websites, or "in the cloud." Recently, a client asked about who owns those assets after his death, how intellectual property rights were determined, and who had authority to access his information after he was gone.

All good questions and topics for consideration. Up until now, many of us attorneys advising clients simply shrugged and thought "don't we have more important things to deal with." However, a person's digital information may be very valuable, either setimentally or even financially.

The December 2010 issue of Wisconsin Lawyer, contains this excellent article examining issues and ideas related to dealing with one's digital assets, especially after one's death. A couple basic options include leaving a list or instructions about your information for your family members to follow after your death. A second, legal option may be to leave a list, that is incorporated into your will, and will be honored in the same way as a list of tangible personal property.

Review of guide for gay and lesbian couples

2010-12-14T13:04:00.002-06:00

My book review of Nolo publisher's "A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples" appears in the December 2010 issue of Wisconsin Lawyer. In summary, the guide gives some basic information for couples or attorneys, but sometimes the information is a bit outdated or better available elsewhere, like specialized online sources. Because the guide is written for a lay reader, it is probably not very useful for attorneys (who are the reading audience of my review) unless it is used as a very basic starting point for understanding issues for lesbian and gay couples.

Paying for long-term care

2010-11-08T16:07:00.002-06:00

In these tough economic times, who wants to think of one more discretionary expense to add to the monthly budget? But, as this piece in the New York Times discusses, future long-term care costs for an individual could exceed $1 Million!

Long-term care insurance has been around for several decades, yet many people roll the dice as to whether they purchase it or not. Besides the statistics of one's chances of needed expensive nursing home care, the article also looks at the reasons we often choose not to obtain such protection.

While some excuses for not having insurance are incorrect or somewhat inaccurate (e.g, thinking Medicare will pay (which it doesn't), expecting our own savings to be sufficient, and counting on family members to care for us), "there is also a great deal of justified skeptism about the long-term care insurance industy."

On that skeptical side, some insurance companies are looking at raising their premiums by double-digit increases.

Wisconsin's Office of the Commissioner of Insurance (OCI) has a helpful guide on its website. Furthermore, Wisconsin is one of a number of states that offers Long-Term Care Insurance Partnership program to encourage the purchase of long-term care insurance by offering greater asset limits for Medicaid coverage. Search the OCI website for more information on all related topics.

Mediating disputes involving elders

2010-10-25T13:22:00.004-05:00

The New York Times' blog, "The New Old Age," is very helpful with topics related to care, health, and family issues of aging. Recently, the topic was settling disputes involving elders through mediation. While mediation has been used for many years for family law or labor law disputes, it is blossoming into a new specialty for issues of aging. Issues may present in any of a number of relationships: among children of an elderly parent, between an elder and a caregiver, between an elder and a child.

I previously posted about elder law mediation as presented in a public radio story.

The post from "The New Old Age" includes these cautions and suggestions for families who may be considering mediation for such a dispute:

A mediator generally should be trained in such subjects as the physical and mental effects of aging and how to communicate effectively with the elderly. But in a field with no national credentialing and no standard approach, potential clients should be wary before asking an outsider to sit in on a dispute.

Start with National Eldercare Mediation Network, . . . which posts profiles of elder mediators in all 50 states. Another Web site, Mediate.com, also allows prospective clients to search elder mediators by state.

Aiming for 100+

2010-10-20T12:12:00.004-05:00

The New York Times recently ran a story about living to age 100 and beyond. The centenarians who were interviewed were examples of good living, good luck, and good outlooks. Referring to several studies, the article reviewed the usual reasons for longevity--genetics (although not as big a factor as many might guess), caring for one's health, and a positive attitude.

As one 99-year-old interviewee put it, “I am blessed and I’ve worked on it. You’ve got to work, be cheerful and look for something fun to do. It’s a whole attitude. "

Last year, I posted about a collection of stories from diverse and interesting centenarians.

More on financial powers of attorney

2010-10-18T14:05:00.004-05:00

As of September 1, 2010, Wisconsin has an all-new financial power of attorney law--new statutes and new state form. I introduced the new legislative act shortly after it became effective, and I will include more detailed posts about various aspects of the law.

For an extensive explanation, see this article in the June 2010 Wisconsin Lawyer magazine (the Wisconsin state bar's official publication). I wrote the article's sidebar about the new law's state form.

Powers of attorney must be on people's minds lately. See this "ask the expert" column from the New York Times' blog about aging. Although the answer to the question may be correct in some states, it is not entirely correct under Wisconsin's new law. In Wisconsin, coagents can act independently unless the power of attorney specifies otherwise. As in most cases, legal questions have many nuances and an inquiry with an attorney in the relevant state is very helpful.

Who will draft your will?

2010-09-14T21:51:00.002-05:00

There are many options for prepare one's will and other estate planning documents. And, of course, many do-it-yourself options are less expensive than paying an attorney a few hundred (or even a few thousand) dollars to do that for you. In that vein, consider this essay about will-preparation software from the New York Times. When the writer tried four different software programs to draft her own will, she got mixed results--some perfectly acceptable, but some not so much.

In the end, the documents themselves are only part of the picture, whether you prepare your own estate planning documents or have an attorney draft them for you. The BIGGEST benefit of having an attorney assist with estate planning is the ADVICE. Legal counsel is especially important in complex situations like remarriage, potentially disagreeable family members, or a likely beneficiary with disabilities. An attorney provides the options, answers, and information for planning how one's estate will be handled and how surviving family members will be provided for. Then, the document drafting follows the conversation, with documents to carry out the plan.

Wisconsin's new Power of Attorney Act

2010-09-07T21:34:00.004-05:00

As of September 1, 2010, Wisconsin has a new financial power of attorney act. Of course, you should be excited, at least if you are a certain segment of the legal profession in the state. After only a week, it seems that the new law will have attorneys advising clients and preparing documents differently. Articles, list serv discussions, and actual work for clients have us thinking through the range of possibilities.

Because the new law is so extensive, I will break up my comments on it into several topics. For now, I will simply link to the new chapter in the Wisconsin Statutes. (Just for comparison, the new law has an entire chapter in the statutes, where the predecessor statute was only a couple sections amounting to just a few pages.)

Summer coming to an end with a family travel story

2010-09-02T17:51:00.005-05:00

Why was the writer of this L. A. Times piece so surprised that traveling with older relatives can be fun?

Here's an introductory quotation about the family history potential for such travels:

"Traveling with parents to places that were important in their earlier lives can be important and meaningful for their life review and give the younger generations traveling with them insights into the ways that their parents' or grandparents' lives have shaped their own," says USC psychologist Bob Knight.

I enjoyed the story recounted in the piece where the elderly mother turned off her hearing aid during the road trip so that her travel companions (aka her adult daughters) could "talk about her."

Besides the family history dimension, the intergenerational connections can be priceless. So often we segregate ourselves, not just in society, but even in our families, by age.

Last January, I enjoyed a relaxing vacation to Maui with my partner and my mother. We enjoyed the sun, food, beaches, and activities with great memories together. The photo above is shot from our balcony where we enjoyed the warm weather and watched the whales in the channel.

(After a summer break from writing, I've resumed posts now as of September 2.)

When older parents get remarried

2010-04-23T17:18:00.003-05:00

This article from the Wall Street Journal/Smart Money gives some great information and helpful suggestions regarding property and estates when older parents remarry. Careful consideration should be given to how to provide for a surviving spouse, but also to leave whatever desired (by the parent) inheritance to the children of the prior marriage. A couple possibilities include a prenuptial agreement or a trust.

Without careful planning, the adult children and the surviving spouse may be at odds, even to the extent of fighting over an estate in court. For example,

Most lawyers and financial planners agree that the families that get cross-ways are those that don't communicate. [An Atlanta attorney] says there is a saying in the field: "People get over the loss of a loved one sooner than the loss of an inheritance."

Golden (years) opportunities

2010-03-01T16:58:00.003-06:00

For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.

A few lines of Longfellow quoted in a New York Times essay about aging and the potential for freedom and happiness in old age. In a surprising example, the writer learned that those living in their later years, even with advanced old age, are not simply resigned to loneliness and sadness.

Korean scholars revisit international adoptions from Korea

2010-02-15T17:18:00.003-06:00

In recent news from my alma mater, St. Olaf College, English professor, Jennifer Kwon Dobbs, is mentioned for her co-authored essay, "Rethinking Consent to Adoption," about internation adoptions of Korean children.

Concerning the numbers for 2009,

With the international trend clearly turning toward domestic solutions and family preservation, we may wonder why over 1,080 babies went to the U.S. from South Korea this year for adoption.

The authors continue by pointing out the legal (and fading cultural) bias against unwed mothers. That bias has been the engine behind moving the children of those unwed mothers into adoption, rather than promoting family preservation or even domestic adoption within Korea. The writers note that the laws are changing to accomodate a longer period for a mother to consider placing her child for adoption, but they encourage that much more be done to improve the attitude and process of adoption in Korea.

Fascinating perspective.

Work and meaning in hard economic times

2010-01-18T20:40:00.002-06:00

In a New York Times Sunday Magazine essay entitled "Part-Time Fulfillment," writer Beverly Willett shares her experience working at a "fulfillment center" for phone and internet sales. The simple and personal messages that came with some orders reminded Willett of her own family connections, in addition to the manual work beside other working men and women.

Here's part of the essay:

The items [the center shipped in orders] ranged from T-shirts and teddy bears to coffee mugs and casserole dishes.

. . . The pay was $12 an hour, before taxes, with no health coverage, sick leave or other benefits. During the first few weeks, I sat in a chair all day and typed in orders, a far cry from my early days as a lawyer representing clients with household names.

Right after I got my first paycheck, my car broke down, and heating-oil money was diverted to the repair shop. During Week 2, the 20 to 25 hours I thought I’d be working dwindled to 13. But I called a halt to my pity party when I counted up all my friends who lost their jobs in 2009. And that’s when I began to feel satisfaction from the work I did get. Although the job involved inputting product codes and shipping data for several hours at a time, it somehow got me in touch with real people with real lives in real towns. And it gave me glimpses into worlds other than my own that, for at least the course of a workday, melted preoccupation with my own troubles.

Age is just a number, right?

2009-12-15T08:04:00.003-06:00

Recently, the Washington Post ran this column about "old age," from the lens of the fraud conviction of 85-year-old Anthony Marshall (the son of prominent New York City philantropist, Brooke Astor, who died at age 105 in 2007).

Not so surprising from the author's numbers, people in their 70's and 80's are more active, healthy lives than their counterparts even a couple decades ago.

Also, the concept of "old" is age-relative:

[T]here's little agreement on what makes us old or even when we become old. That depends largely on the age of the person answering the question, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey. In this national sample of nearly 3,000 adults, people ages 18 to 29 say a person is old at 60; but people who are 60 don't believe that. Those who are 65 years old say they won't cross the line into old age until they turn 74.

The same disagreement exists over the markers of old age. A hefty 44 percent of young people think those who retire are old. But only 10 percent of men and women 65 and older -- the ones in the R Zone -- equate official retirement with being old.

Apparently, one's state of mind and physical health is not solely, or even predominantly, dependant on one's chronological age.

Mayo Clinic electronic newsletter

2009-11-17T08:24:00.005-06:00

The Mayo Clinic website has tons of great information, even beyond what we usually consider medical information, such as healthy eating and various aspects of healthy living. On the Clinic's homepage, you can sign up to receive its electronic newsletter.

Recently, the newsletter ran this helpful piece on talking to children about adoption. Topics in the article include when to talk to your child about adoption, how to discuss it, how to address racial or cultural differences, and answering children's questions.

Insights into international adoptions

2009-11-09T07:52:00.003-06:00

A story in the New York Times looks at international adoptions, especially adoptions of Korean children in the 1950s to 1980s, and the difficulty with cultural and racial adjustments the children went through. Now adults, numerous adoptees were interviewed for a report, which enlightens many issues of transracial adoptions.

The report was issued by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a nonprofit adoption research and policy group based in New York. Since 1953, parents in the United States have adopted more than a half-million children from other countries, the vast majority of them from orphanages in Asia, South America and, most recently, Africa. Yet the impact of such adoptions on identity has been only sporadically studied. The authors of the Donaldson Adoption Institute study said they hoped their work would guide policymakers, parents and adoption agencies in helping the current generation of children adopted from Asian countries to form healthy identities.

“So much of the research on transracial adoption has been done from the perspective of adoptive parents or adolescent children,” said Adam Pertman, executive director of the institute. “We wanted to be able to draw on the knowledge and life experience of a group of individuals who can provide insight into what we need to do better.”

The study recommends several changes in adoption practices that the institute said are important, including better support for adoptive parents and recognition that adoption grows in significance for their children from young adulthood on, and throughout adulthood. South Korea was the first country from which Americans adopted in significant numbers. From 1953 to 2007, an estimated 160,000 South Korean children were adopted by people from other countries, most of them in the United States. They make up the largest group of transracial adoptees in the United States and, by some estimates, are 10 percent of the nation’s Korean population.

The report says that significant changes have occurred since the first generation of adopted children were brought to the United States, a time when parents were told to assimilate the children into their families without regard for their native culture.

Yet even adoptees who are exposed to their culture and have parents who discuss issues of race and discrimination say they found it difficult growing up.

How our mortality can define the meaning of our lives

2009-11-03T08:35:00.004-06:00

The New York Times concluded (for now) its blog series, Happy Times, about "the pursuit of what matters in troubled times recently. The final entry reflects on the meaning of one's life, especially when facing or reflecting upon one inevitable death. The writer observes two lessons in our mortality: First, that death is terrifying because we are essentially future-focused beings, and we do not know when death will occur for us.

The second, less obvious lesson is that death gives our life purpose by defining our lives in time, with finite boundaries. Developing that thought:

And when there is always time for everything, there is no urgency for anything. It may well be that life is not long enough. But it is equally true that a life without limits would lose the beauty of its moments. It would become boring, but more deeply it would become shapeless. Just one damn thing after another.
This is the paradox death imposes upon us: it grants us the possibility of a meaningful life even as it takes it away.

The evolving science of autism spectrum disorder

2009-11-02T22:13:00.006-06:00

A recent story in the New York Times describes the ongoing evolution and evaluation of medical and scientific understanding of Asperger's syndrome and similar conditions within the range of autism spectrum disorder.

Here's an excerpt:

If these experts have their way, Asperger’s syndrome and another mild form of autism, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (P.D.D.-N.O.S. for short), will be folded into a single broad diagnosis, autism spectrum disorder — a category that encompasses autism’s entire range, or spectrum, from high-functioning to profoundly disabling.

“Nobody has been able to show consistent differences between what clinicians diagnose as Asperger’s syndrome and what they diagnose as mild autistic disorder,” said Catherine Lord, director of the Autism and Communication Disorders Centers at the University of Michigan, one of 13 members of a group evaluating autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders for the manual [on psychiatric diagnoses, being revised for publication in 2012].

“Asperger’s means a lot of different things to different people,” Dr. Lord said. “It’s confusing and not terribly useful.”
Taking Asperger’s out of the manual . . .does not mean the term will disappear. “We don’t want to say that no one can ever use this word,” Dr. Lord said, adding: “It’s not an evidence-based term. It may be something people would like to use to describe how they see themselves fitting into the spectrum.”

Any lessons for attorneys from the Brooke Astor case?

2009-10-26T19:46:00.005-05:00

By now, the verdict against the Brooke Astor's son and the attorney who drafted her will is old news. However, attorney's around the country are evaluating the way they serve clients in preparing estate plans, and not just for clients with mega-sized estates that make the news.

The New York Times relates the scrutiny some attorneys are feeling, even if it is self-imposed:

[L]awyers and those in the academic world say [the conviction of Astor's son and attorney] is likely to force estate planners in New York and elsewhere to take extra precautions when balancing their clients’ wishes and competence.

The law generally requires a very low standard of mental capacity to execute a will, and there are few hard and fast rules that lawyers must follow when ascertaining a client’s competence.

Some experts said the Astor case could motivate lawyers to use additional safeguards to ensure that their clients are competent when there is any doubt.

Although attorneys should, as a matter of course, assure that their client have the mental capacity to properly execute their estate planning documents, cautious attorneys may implement even greater safeguards like mental evaluations or video recording of signings.

Help for those who care for elders

2009-09-30T16:39:00.002-05:00

Many adult children who care for their aged parents face numerous challenges, including seeking out the best services for elder care and how to pay for them. A recent New York Times "Well" blog entry describes the process and benefits of engaging a geriatic care manager. Such a manager assists overwhelmed family members in assessing the elder's needs, connecting with high-quality services, and even negotiating the arrangements if family members disagree.

Because elder care is so personal and requires great trustworthiness, consider these suggestions from the entry:

Be sure to ask about backgrounds and credentials. If your parent has complicated medical issues, a care manager with a nursing background might be best. If the parent has cognitive problems or is just plain ornery, someone with a master’s in social work might be better.
Find out whether the person is a member of the national care managers’ association, which has strict requirements: members must have a master’s degree in a field related to care management, like nursing or social work, two years of supervised experience and certification by one of three accrediting agencies. Ask for a brochure and a fee schedule. Learn whether the care manager works alone or in a group practice and if they will be available to you 24 hours a day or just on weekdays.

Finally, consultations and care management can be fairly expensive, and Medicare does not pay for such services, so families need to take the financial piece into account too.

Modern families are complex families

2009-09-23T17:29:00.002-05:00

Many people think that modern families are more complex than the "traditional" families of the past. However, I think the Leave It to Beaver household is largely a fiction of the 1950's. Even before divorce was widely acceptable and available, many families were disrupted by death, abandonment, or financial crisis. In my own family, a great-great-grandmother of mine was widowed young with a small child, then widowed again in her later years, and remarried each time.

In this piece from the New York Times blog "The New Old Age," the complicated scenarios surrounding caring for divorced elderly parents and their ex- and current spouses shows the latest variation on family life. Here's just a brief excerpt:

With remarriages, moreover, the cast of characters increases. Children may find themselves caring for three or four older people instead of one or two, dealing with several sets of doctors, social workers, accountants and attorneys. And with stepsiblings, sometimes a squadron of them.

And you can just guess the potential for conflict, either among adult children/stepchildren or between children and parent's "new" spouse. Topics such as nursing care, assets, or inheritance are potential sources for conflict over which families (and their attorneys) can fight.

Remembering Mary Travers

2009-09-16T22:48:00.003-05:00

Mary, of Peter, Paul & Mary, died today at age 72. The music for which she was best known easily spans two or three generations, inspiring sing-along recognition. The New York Times obituary remembered her, including these words:

Ms. Travers’s voice blended seamlessly with those of her colleagues, Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey, to create a rich three-part harmony that propelled the group to the top of the pop charts.
. . .

Their sound may have been commercial and safe, but early on their politics were somewhat risky for a group courting a mass audience. Like Mr. Yarrow and Mr. Stookey, Ms. Travers was outspoken in her support for the civil-rights and antiwar movements . . . .

Peter, Paul and Mary went on to perform at the 1963 March on Washington and joined the voting-rights marches from Selma to Montgomery, Ala., in 1965.

Julia Child retrospective, part 1

2009-09-01T08:14:00.005-05:00

I haven't seen the recent movie, Julie & Julia, but hope to see it soon. The reviews and related commentary have been voluminous and enjoyable.

The L. A. Times ran this slideshow of photos looking back at the life and career of the famed gourmet cook who brought French cooking to America's kitchens, dining rooms (and living rooms via her television series).

Here's the accompanying caption to the slideshow:

Meryl Streep's mesmerizing performance in "Julie & Julia" had one downside -- walking out of the theater, it was hard to remember what the real Julia Child looked like anymore. That's because Streep was magnificent at channeling the endearingly awkward mannerisms and high-pitched voice of that master chef. So we decided to comb the L.A. Times article and photo archives for Julia Child highlights. And when we did, we were struck once again: No offense, Meryl, but the real Julia Child is absolutely unforgettable. Bon Appetit!

Ted Kennedy: "a lasting impact on the lives of other human beings"

2009-08-29T18:38:00.005-05:00

Today was the funeral for Senator Ted Kennedy. Various news stories in the few days since his death relayed the details of his family history, his personal and political story, and the many accolades from people of all persuasions. As just one example of the news coverage, here is the compiled coverage from the Washington Post.

As part of the funeral service, President Obama delivered a eulogy of Kennedy; here is an excerpt from the Post's account:

"We can use each day to show those who are closest to us how much we care about them, and treat others with the kindness and respect that we wish for ourselves," Obama said. "We can learn from our mistakes and grow from our failures. And we can strive at all costs to make a better world, so that someday, if we are blessed with the chance to look back on our time here, we can know that we spent it well; that we made a difference; that our fleeting presence had a lasting impact on the lives of other human beings. . . . This is how Ted Kennedy lived. This is his legacy."

New cemetery marker--thanks but no thanks

2009-08-24T08:16:00.003-05:00

A former student and admirer of Frank Lloyd Wright placed a marker on the grave of Wright's famous love interest, without approval of the cemetery board. Ultimately the board decided to return the unauthorized marker. The news story from the Wisconsin State Journal begins this way:

A gravestone for Frank Lloyd Wright’s professional inspiration and personal sorrow, murder victim Mamah Borthwick, placed without permission in a family cemetery at Taliesin outside of Spring Green one late night in May, will be returned to a well-intentioned admirer.

Hawaii's Fiftieth Anniversary of Statehood

2009-08-24T08:15:00.002-05:00

The fiftieth anniversary of Hawaii's statehood last week was noted in this New York Times op-ed piece. The author, who is a transplant to the islands, comments on the beauties and quirks of our 50th states. He concludes with this observation and compliment:

And since people’s faults are often their virtues when looked at a different way, the aversion to self-promotion is often a welcome humility; the lack of confrontation or hustle is a rare thing in a hyperactive world. Islanders are instinctively territorial, but bound by rules, so privacy matters and so does politeness and good will.

A beautiful example of a life for others

2009-08-12T20:12:00.005-05:00

Eunice Kennedy Shriver died this week; here's the New York Times obituary for her. Most notable in all the tributes was her founding of the Special Olympics (the site is now transformed into a wonderful tribute to her).

In pleasant contrast to the current health care reform fervor, which seems to be motivated by fear and self-interest (frequently exaggeratedly so), Shriver's concern for others, especially those who historically were marginalized because of disability, is a bright example.

We typically think of the Kennedy family as politicians, often with some ideal of public service. Shriver reminded us that we can all undertake public service for the common good.

Health care reform explained

2009-08-10T19:33:00.004-05:00

In all the swirl of comments and controversy, the New York Times offered this primer on the health care proposals in Washington. It highlights that there are still several bills under consideration, that the outrageous claims of some are unfounded, and various interests will need to compromise (meaning, the President, Congress, doctors, insurers, your grandmother will not get all they had hoped for).

Obviously, this topic is still a moving target, so stay engaged in the news for how healthcare reform will unfold.

Wisconsin domestic partnership law...

2009-08-04T21:43:00.003-05:00

became effective August 3, 2009. Here is how the day unfolded in Madison, according to the Wisconsin State Journal. According to Fair Wisconsin's summary (pdf), registered domestic partners have 43 of the over 200 rights of married couples. Still, that has not stopped a conservative group from suing the governor, alleging that domestic partnership provisions violate the 2006 state constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman and prohibiting anything "substantially similar" to marriage. Here's the latest from the Wisconsin State Journal on that suit.

Elvis week is coming soon

2009-07-31T22:47:00.005-05:00

A local Madison artist will have her portrait of Elvis Presley featured in a art contest and show at Graceland, August 8-15. Robyn Kaftanski greated a velvety looking "blue suede shoes" image of Elvis. Check out the full story in Madison's arts news publication, 77 Square.

Find out more about Elvis Week at elvisweek.com.

A couple years ago, I was in Memphis for the 25th anniversary of Elvis' death. The crowds, impromptu shrines, and tributes were amazing. The line to take a candle to Elvis' gravesite at Graceland wound back and forth through the street for probably a mile!

The "fear" of government sponsored health care

2009-07-30T07:26:00.006-05:00

Recently on Slate.com, "Scaring Grandma" relayed the speed bump in the Obama health care plan--reducing Medicare expenses, which some interpret to mean denying end of life care.

Here's an excerpt:

Many senior citizens are concerned that health care reform would mean cuts to Medicare. That much was clear at a town-hall meeting hosted Tuesday by the American Association of Retired Persons at which Obama fielded questions from seniors who don't want to give up their benefits.

But one question stood out. It addressed what the host from the AARP called the "infamous" Page 425 of the House health care bill. (Read the bill here.) "I have been told there is a clause in there that everyone that's Medicare age will be visited and told to decide how they wish to die," said Mary from North Carolina. "This bothers me greatly, and I'd like for you to promise me that this is not in this bill." The host elaborated: "As I read the bill, it's saying that Medicare will, for the first time, cover consultation about end-of-life care, and that they will not pay for such a consultation more than once every five years. This is being read as saying every five years you'll be told how you can die."

In a more balanced description of the options before Congress, the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys reports:

The Secretary of HHS has sent a comprehensive report to Congress entitled “Advance Directives and Advance Care Planning.” The report, requested by Congress in 2006, focuses on (1) the best ways to promote the use of advance directives and advance care planning among competent adults as a way to specify their wishes about end-of-life care; and (2) addressing the needs of persons with disabilities with respect to advance directives. You can link to the report at: http://aspe.hhs.gov/daltcp/reports/2008/ADCongRpt.htm. It includes an excellent literature review on every aspect of advance care planning, analyses of key ethical and legal issues, and a discussion of opportunities to enhance the effectiveness of advance care planning and advance directives. The report is particularly timely as health care reform is in the public policy forefront, and several bills are pending on the Hill regarding a dvance care planning and improving care near the end of life.

In addition to the full report, a background report is available at ttp://aspe.hhs.gov/daltcp/reports/2007/adacplpi.htm.

Happy reading!

Adoption can be an uphill struggle

2009-07-27T08:01:00.003-05:00

In a heartwrenching story, with a likely happy ending, a West Virginia couple learned that giving foster care to a child does not always neatly lead to the availability of the child for adoption. In the New York Times account of the story of Kathryn Kutil and Cheryl Hess, it was even more complicated by the state's position on their same-sex relationship. Early in the article, the reporter asks, "Was it somehow O.K. for a lesbian couple to care for older kids no one else would take in but not for a newborn whom another set of more "deserving" parents might want?"

Several states outright prohibit adoption by homosexuals, and in some states only one party of a gay couple can adopt but not both parties. In the case of Kutil and Hess, when their infant foster child became available for adoption, the court opined "that the best interest of the child is to be raised by a traditional family, mother and father."

Ultimately, the West Virginia supreme court had to decide that the judge had improperly weighed the various factors to determine the best interest of the child. However, the adoption will still require approval of the state health and human services department and confirmation by a county judge, all of which will take several more months.

As Kathryn Kutil said before the jury in the county courthouse, "We've done nothing wrong but love this baby and love her with everything we had."

Story-telling power of scars

2009-07-26T18:04:00.005-05:00

New York Times writer Dana Jennings reflects on his many scars--from accidents and surgeries--and concludes that they tell his personal story and give reasons for optimism.

Here's an excerpt:

[F]or all the potential tales of woe that they suggest, scars are also signposts of optimism. If your body is game enough to knit itself back together after a hard physical lesson, to make scar tissue, that means you’re still alive, means you’re on the path toward healing.
. . .

There’s also something talismanic about them. I rub my scars the way other people fret a rabbit’s foot or burnish a lucky penny. Scars feel smooth and dry, the same way the scales of a snake feel smooth and dry.

I find my abdominal scars to be the most profound. They vividly remind me that skilled surgeons unlocked me with their scalpels, took out what had to be taken, sewed me back up and saved my life. It’s almost as if they left their life-giving signatures on my flawed flesh.
. . .

It’s not that I’m proud of my scars — they are what they are, born of accident and necessity — but I’m not embarrassed by them, either. More than anything, I relish the stories they tell. Then again, I’ve always believed in the power of stories, and I certainly believe in the power of scars.

And that's the way it was...

2009-07-19T16:32:00.004-05:00

Last week Walter Cronkite passed away at age 92. Nearly everyone over the age of 30 has some living memory of the august newsman. The New York Times included this obituary, which noted the following:

As anchorman and reporter, Mr. Cronkite described wars, natural disasters, nuclear explosions, social upheavals and space flights, from Alan Shepard’s 15-minute ride to lunar landings. On July 20, 1969, when the Eagle touched down on the moon, Mr. Cronkite exclaimed, “Oh, boy!”

On the day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated, Mr. Cronkite briefly lost his composure in announcing that the president had been pronounced dead at Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas. Taking off his black-framed glasses and blinking back tears, he registered the emotions of millions.

Also, in another historical note, July 20, 2009 is the 40th anniversary of the U.S. moon landing. Here's the New York Times' segment, "Our Moon," on that historic first. Oh, boy!

Religious sisters show dignified and peaceful way to aging and dying

2009-07-09T20:49:00.005-05:00

A recent New York Times story describes the peaceful, spiritual nature of an aging community of nuns. Specifically, the story relays the care and introspection that accompanies the ill and infirm sisters who face nearing death.

Here's an excerpt:

Few sisters opt for major surgery, high-tech diagnostic tests or life-sustaining machinery. And nobody can remember the last time anyone died in a hospital . . . .

“There is a time to die and a way to do that with reverence,” said Sister Mary Lou, 56, a former nurse. “ Hospitals should not be meccas for dying. Dying belongs at home, in the community."
. . .

[The primary physician for the sisters,] Dr. McCann said that the sisters’ religious faith insulated them from existential suffering — the “Why me?” refrain commonly heard among those without a belief in an afterlife. Absent that anxiety and fear, Dr. McCann said, there is less pain, less depression, and thus the sisters require only one-third the amount of narcotics he uses to manage end-of-life symptoms among hospitalized patients.

Alzheimer's disease and personal identity

2009-07-09T20:36:00.004-05:00

My sister and I had inklings of a slow atrophying of my mother’s mind, perhaps of her very self, before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in April, 2008. And yet, strangely, I’d also noticed around that time she’d seemed to be more “herself.” So I felt oddly reassured at the news. The diagnosis seemed to explain something about who my mother was, perhaps who she’d been most of my life. Due to its seeming genetic component, we believed the type to be early-onset. It could have started when I was still a kid.

This is how Elizabeth Kadetsky begins an op-ed piece in the New York Times, in which she reflects on her former-fashion-model mother, now living-in-the-moment mother with Alzheimer's. The author compares the present-moment essence of Alzheimer's with the practice of yoga, in that the past and future are absent from thought.

An interesting and touching reflection on a mother-daughter relationship and the influence the disease has on it.

It seems to me that the disease "enhances" the most recognized personality traits by robbing the individual of their multi-faceted and nuanced identity, so that, in the end, their most prominent traits are all that remain. Hopefully, for most of us, our prominent traits are our pleasant ones.

Living to 100 and beyond

2009-07-06T19:41:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading If I Live to Be 100, the 2002 book by Neenah Ellis, based on her public radio series. She recounts numerous interviews of Americans from across the country who lived to be 100 years old or older.

In addition to meeting a fascinating variety of people, Ellis reflects on and reveals her own personal thoughts on aging, relationships, and self-identity. Here's a short sample from the introduction:

As I was listening to their life stories, I realized that I was being given the chance to choose my own future . . . . By lining my life up alongside theirs, I got a better idea of where I might be headed. I'd always had a sense of my life as a leaf floating down a river, on a course that seemed unalterable, but suddenly, in my mid-forties, I felt the need to make more choices: I could decide what sort of old person I wanted to be.

In a similar vein, check out the Dallas News piece on 30 ways to live to be 100. All of the suggestions are great, but my favorites are "dance, sing" and "find passion for the little things in life."

Forty years after Stonewall

2009-06-28T22:11:00.003-05:00

Frank Rich, in this New York Times op-ed piece, gives a concise history of the Stonewall riots that launched the gay rights movement.

"Gay Americans aren't just another political special interest group. They are Americans who are actively discriminated against by federal law."

Taking President Obama to task, Rich quotes Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black: "There's a perception in Washington that you can throw a little bit of partial equality to gay people and that gay people will be satisfied with that."

But, the march of activism with continue for full civil rights in all states AND the federal government.

New Alzheimer's Disease research center in Wisconsin

2009-06-28T18:24:00.004-05:00

In its summer 2009 newsletter, the South Central Wisconsin Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association describes a new Alzheimer's Disease research center for Wisconsin, located at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Funded by grants from the National Institute on Aging and the National Institute of Health, the center will focus on " novel diagnostic tests and potential therapies for the preventions of [Alzheimer's Disease] at a stage when patients have no clinical symptoms (preclinical stage)."

In other news, the HBO series, The Alzheimer's Project, is now available online. The website includes the videos, details about the project, and other resourses.

Zen as a dimension of healthcare (reform)

2009-06-21T18:58:00.003-05:00

The L.A. Times reported recently that Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City offers Zen chaplains for expanded spiritual care of its patients and employees.

According to the American Hospital Assn., about 68% of public hospitals have a chaplaincy program. But few have Buddhist monks, and none compares with the program at Beth Israel -- where more than 20 Buddhist chaplains and chaplains-in-training offer bedside meditation, interdenominational prayers and other assistance to pregnant women, dying cancer patients and even stressed hospital workers.

. . .

Advocates say the availability of alternative treatments is crucial at a time when millions of Americans are struggling to pay for healthcare. Instead of relying on drugs and hospitalization, the Zen center encourages stress- and pain-relief through meditation, breathing exercises or simple conversation. Even if such methods cannot provide a cure, they can make patients more comfortable. And the Zen chaplains are able to spend more time with patients, time that busy doctors and nurses often cannot spare.

Congress takes on long-term care insurance

2009-06-16T20:35:00.004-05:00

The New York Times' blog, "The New Old Age, " posted this entry about the current congressional discussion about long-term care insurance. The issue has many facets, including consumer protection, financial soundness, and the variables of the marketplace.

Consumers must balance premium affordability with the types of services they may want, the daily benefit amount, the length of coverage and other options, such as inflation protection. But personal needs and the marketplace can change in the decades between purchasing and using a policy, [the executive vice president of the Kaiser Family Foundation] said.

The uncertainty of guessing what care will be needed in the future and at what cost is a huge challenge for consumers. Nevertheless, Congress and insurance companies are trying to work together to provide options and incentives, given the growing pressures on the Medicaid system and Medicaid's tough asset spend-down requirements.

Aging better

2009-06-08T21:18:00.003-05:00

A recent story in the Washington Post tells of a 50-year-long health study known as the Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Aging. The study has spanned decades for some participants, giving the researchers glimpses into long-term effects of aging.

Since 1958, a total of more than 1,400 volunteers have agreed to regularly undergo in-depth physicals and momory and other screenings conducted by the study's physicians. The resulting data span more than half a century and are a gold mine for researches interested in the aging process.

In addition to studying aspects of physical health,

[the] researchers were able to disprove the long-held belief that people get crankier as they age. Using data collected from the study's participants, they found that personaity traits don't generally change much after age 30: People who were cranky at 27 were likely to be cranky at 87.

(I love that data!)

The director of the study hopes the data and insights continue well into the future: "The definition of being old is changing; it breaking apart. [People] want to live well, no matter what their age."

2009-06-02T17:18:00.002-05:00

Recently, Money magazine ran a story, "Rethinking your Estate Plan." It offers basic information and considerations, especially in light of the current economic environment and tax code.

You don't have to be a millionaire to worry about leaving a smaller legacy than you'd hoped - if you can leave one at all. According to estimates by the Federal Reserve, average household net worth dropped nearly 23% from a survey period starting in May 2007 to October 2008. That happened just as many Americans began feeling more pressure to help their kids who are struggling in this rotten economy.

To counter the uncertainty of the economy and build some reassurance in the future, the article suggests looking at charitable giving, estate tax consequences, how your plan to distribute your estate, whether a trust is a suitable option, and the frequency of reviewing and updating your plan.

By way of self-serving note: the article suggests you work with an attorney and "contact your attorney every three years or so and ask whether your plan needs updating."

Pet poetry

2009-05-26T21:00:00.006-05:00

Tails of the City, the San Francisco Chronicle pet blog, recently ran a pet haiku contest. Here are the results.

Here's one of the submissions that I particularly like:

Dogs wait patiently / With their origami ears / Folded precisely. -J. Fenton

Even the best-laid plans...

2009-05-18T22:07:00.004-05:00

can go awry. Sometime we call this "law in action"--when the legally correct thing is ignored, and the person in front of you says something else is required or expected. Case in point, the instances where same-sex partners were denied visitation access to their ill partners in hospitals. The New York Times reported on two such couples, where the access-seeking partner had a valid health care power of attorney, but was turned away anyway.

[One] case, now the subject of a federal lawsuit in Florida, is being watched by gay rights groups, which say same-sex partners often report being excluded from a patient’s room because they aren’t “real” family members.

And lawyers say the case could affect the way hospitals treat all patients with nonmarital relationships, including older people who choose not to marry, unmarried heterosexual couples and single people who rely on the support of close friends rather than relatives.

One point of contention in the lawsuit is whether a hospital has a legal duty to its patients to always give visiting rights to their designated family members and surrogates.

Stay turned for an interesting, evolving area of healthcare, family, and patient-rights law.

Celebrity, privacy, and inelegant charitable solicitation

2009-05-11T21:38:00.002-05:00

By now, nearly everyone knows that actress Farrah Fawcett has serious cancer, and the media have reported on her every twitch. The L.A. Times ran this piece about how her medical privacy was breached for the sake of tabloid news and how her treating hospital asked for a large donation from her for a cancer foundation.

In an interview with the Times (given last August, but green-lighted by Fawcett recently), "Fawcett described how she was deprived of the choice that most other cancer patients have: when, and even whether, to share information with family, friends or strangers."

In the time since the interview, the hospital employee who leaked the information was criminally prosecuted and convicted, the medical center has attempted to remedy its policy, and the governor of California has signed a stricter medical privacy law.

On the topic of the solicited donation, the story notes:

The university went so far as to give her a prewritten letter that she could sign and fill in a dollar amount for the foundation, documents show. It also created an official-looking proposed announcement that said, "Ms. Farrah Fawcett has established a fund in the Division of Digestive Diseases with the expansive goal of facilitating prevention and diagnosis in gastrointestinal cancers."

The uncertain definition of "competence"

2009-05-11T21:25:00.003-05:00

The excellent entries continue on "The New Old Age." Here is the discussion on mental competence, the legal way of determining whether someone has the cognitive ability to make decisions for oneself, usually meaning signing documents. Often, that determination varies even by the type of decision to be made: for example, voting, making a will, or entering into marriage may all have different thresholds for "competence."

The entry in "The New Old Age" considers competence in the context of non-deceased wealthy philanthropist Brooke Astor's later years when she had Alzheimer's disease. Here's a bit of the entry:

. . . Alzheimer’s sufferers may experience days of comparative lucidity alternating with days of bewilderment. Cognitive ability “may even vary throughout the day,” said Dr. Ronald C. Petersen, a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic who chairs the medical and scientific advisory board of the Alzheimer’s Association. “A person might be
relatively sharp in the morning and by evening be quite confused.”

Caregivers are familiar with the late-day agitation called “sundowning.” Medications, disrupted sleep, social stimulation and even a minor cold can affect these diurnal cycles. Though a variety of doctors are expected to testify during the two-month trial, they may shed little light on whether Mrs. Astor had, in legalspeak, “testamentary capacity” on a particular January afternoon in 2004, when she altered her will.

. . .

The bar for establishing testamentary capacity is set fairly low. The person in question needs to have a general understanding of her assets, know to whom bequests are normally left, and be able to state what she wants to do and explain why.

Prominent New York case draws attention to financial abuse of the elderly

2009-05-04T17:06:00.006-05:00

Financial exploitation of the elderly is a problem that has received growing attention in recent years. A recent post to the excellent New York Times blog, "The New Old Age," considered how elusive detection of such abuse is, in light of the pending case in New York regarding the estate of Brooke Astor, her son, and the son's attorney.

According to the piece, "[m]ost cases involving suspected financial exploitation of the elderly . . . are never prosecuted and probably never discovered." Here are a few reasons why:

1. The elderly person may be isolated from others who would be in a position to detect abuse. Isolation may be from poor health and mobility, shrinking social circle, or imposed by the abuser.

2. Defining financial abuse can be elusive. Some action may indeed be abusive, but others may be well-intended, but just done in poor judgement. The Times post notes that, "[t]rying to specify exactly what behavior constitutes elder abuse . . . remains a shadowy, insufficiently investigated subject."

3. Abusers can be family members, so then the abuse is often unreported because of the closed circle of those involved. A study cited in the post found "that the most likely perpetrators are family members, friends and caregivers, who feel entitled to take funds because of their established relationship."

4. In our legal system, recourse is often expensive and may take a long time. If the funds stolen are not significant (say, over $10,000), it may be cost-prohibitive to litigate under civil law or persuade the district attorney to prosecute under criminal law. Further complicating matters, with an elderly victim, they may not wish to give testimony (or be mentally competent to), or they may have died before a case can be resolved.

Fortunately, many states, including Wisconsin, have recently enacted tougher statutes against financial exploitation of elderly or other at-risk adults. In addition, agencies and task forces have been formed or empowered to address abuse.

Whether through government, non-profit entitities, or personal vigilence, the awareness and prevention of elder abuse (of all types) is improving, but requires involvement on everyone's part.

As the Times post ends with a quotation from the president of NAELA (National Acadamy of Elder Law Attorneys): "A sensational case like this, or the Terry Schiavo case, hits the hot button and helps make people aware that there could be a problem and that they should protect themselves."

They're lining up at the courthouse...

2009-04-27T21:10:00.005-05:00

Today was the first day for same-sex couples to marry in Iowa. Here's the Des Moines Register's web section on the topic. The Register's update from late April 27 said that over 360 couples have applied to be married.

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but even state-permitted marriage for same sex couples only goes so far. On Reason's website, Steve Chapman makes "A Federal Case for Gay Marriage."

Here's the thrust of Chapman's essay:

It's at moments like this that the framers of the Constitution begin to look even wiser than usual. Somehow they anticipated that people in Massachusetts would not want to live under exactly the same laws as people in Mississippi. So they set up a system known as federalism, which allows different states to choose different policies. Thus we simultaneously uphold majority rule and minority rights.

This, at least, is how federalism is supposed to operate—letting subsets of the national population get their way in their own locales. There's only one hitch: In this case, it doesn't quite work that way.

Why not? Because of a huge imbalance created by that longtime nemesis of state sovereignty—the federal government. Under the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act
(DOMA), Virginia has complete authority to deny the privileges and responsibilities of marriage to same-sex partners. But Iowa doesn't have the complete authority to grant them.

And in a slightly related story, halfway across the country in California, the economic recession is prompting (heterosexual) couples to get hitched at the courthouse to save money. As the L.A. Times reports, the over-the-top weddings of the past two decades may be over.

"I didn't need to put on a frilly fairy tale wedding for everybody else," said [one bride in L.A.], who picked up a bouquet from a local florist on her way to the high-rise courthouse. "We really just wanted to get married."
. . .

In L.A. County, civil wedding ceremonies performed in government buildings were up 17% in 2008 over 2007. Nationally, the number of couples marrying in civil, rather than religious, ceremonies in the first quarter of this year increased by 60% over the same period last year.

Passing of an ukulele virtuoso

2009-04-27T08:36:00.004-05:00

As noted in the New York Times, John King, a renowned ukulele player, died at the age of 55.

Here's an excerpt from the Times' obituary:

Mr. King resurrected a guitar technique from the time of Bach to play a piece that was almost certainly never before tried on a ukulele, Bach’s Partita No. 3, and went on to play other difficult classical works with dazzling mastery.
. . .

The foundation of Mr. King’s achievement was reviving a Baroque guitar technique and applying it to the ukulele. The technique involves playing each succeeding note in a melodic line on a different string. The ukulele — which is tuned so that the four strings go not from the lowest to the highest note but instead run G, C, E, A — turns out to be great for doing this. . . . The result is a bell-like quality of sound in which individual notes over-ring one another, producing an effect that some compare to a harp or harpsichord.

I'm feeling inspired to pull my ukulele out of the closet and practice!

Keep talking about advance directives until everyone has them

2009-04-20T20:12:00.006-05:00

Facing a loved one's serious medical condition or end of life is always agonizing. But it approaches being unbearable when there is no way of knowing what the person would want for treatment or care.

Advance health care directives are SO IMPORTANT and can spare families a world of grief. Advance directives and why people tend to avoid them is the topic of a recent post on the New York Times' blog, "The New Old Age."

In light of the recent National Healthcare Decisions Day (April 16), consider this excerpt:

One reason is that advance directives may be misperceived, theorized Nathan Kottkamp, a health care attorney in Richmond, Va., and organizer of this month’s National Healthcare Decisions Day. People may equate such documents with limiting care, with “pulling the plug.” In fact, Mr. Kottkamp said, “Your living will can say you want every medical treatment known to science applied to you at the end of life. Or no treatment. Or anywhere on that spectrum.”

Elder mediation as an option for resolving disputes

2009-04-13T17:29:00.004-05:00

Morning Edition on National Public Radio ran this story about turning to a mediator when adult children and elderly parents have a dispute about the parent's affairs.

In one example, the mediator said, "[The father] simply didn't want any of his kids to know how much money he had and how his finances were organized."

But as the report continued, " [T]hings were getting worse. One son insisted on going to court to get his father declared mentally incompetent, so the family could take control of the father's finances."

The story goes on to decribe the benefits of involving an outside, neutral party to mediate the matter. The downside may be that there are no national standards for mediating, so the family needs to carefully interview the potential mediator for qualifications. One option for finding a mediator is Eldercare Mediators (I have no basis to vouch for the quality of the organization beyond the reference in the NPR story.)

Perhaps this type of scenario is another opportunity for collaborative law.

Lots of hub-bub about same-sex marriage

2009-04-07T17:30:00.004-05:00

First, the Iowa Supreme Court struck down that state's statutory ban on same-sex marriage on April 2.

Next, on April 5, the Vermont house and senate passed legislation, overriding the governor's veto, to allow same-sex marriage.

Check out today's New York Times article on the move toward equality flowing through Iowa, Vermont, and beyond.

Just for a bit more fodder, consider how the cultural definition of marriage is shifting, as discussed in this article from Slate.com. In looking at how various dictionaries have expanded their definitions of marriage, the article comments:

[F]or those judges who are open to the notion that statutory and constitutional meaning can change over time, the dictionary acceptance of same-sex marriage will offer evidence of a shift in public views. Instead of fending off or ignoring the dictionary, gay advocates will be able to cite the new editions in their briefs. The new entries in Webster's, Black's, and soon the OED signal that the idea of same-sex marriage has come of age. The Supreme Court cited an "emerging awareness" that gay people shouldn't be treated like criminals in striking down remaining state sodomy laws in 2003. Now the dictionaries herald the same kind of "emerging awareness" about gay marriage.

“Couldn’t be happier for two people I’ve never met!”

2009-04-05T18:47:00.004-05:00

Consider this New York Times story about blogger Ann Althouse and Laurence Meade, one of her regular commenters. They are now engaged to be married! The Times article traces their online exchanges, in-person meetings, and the cyber-swirl that went on around them.

When the couple announced their engagement, another regular commenter commented, "Couldn't be happier for two people I've never met!"

By the way, Ms. Althouse is a professor at the University of Wisconsin Law School, from which I recently graduated. As it happens, I never had a class with her or even met her. However, I had read her blog frequently before applying to law school, and it gave me a window into both the law and blogging.

In her blog, Althouse also compiled links to her entries referred to in the Times piece.

Congratulations, Ann and "Meade."

A bittersweet Civil War story

2009-04-04T16:39:00.005-05:00

Errol Morris, in the New York Times, wrote a five-part series on Amos Humiston, a Civil War soldier who died on the battlefield in Gettysburg. Humiston, unknown when his body was found, was clutching a photograph of his three children when he died.

The series, "Whose Father Was He?" looks at the initial history of identifying the fallen soldier (part one).

In part two, Morris interviews Mark Dunkelman, the author of a book about Humiston, including how Dunkelman found the current Humiston descendants.

Next (part three), Morris explores Gettysburg war photography and the attempt to assist the orphaned children of the dead soldiers.

Part four discusses the uneven (to say the least) administration of the orphanage and the enigmatic character who founded it.

Finally, Morris attempts to discover who Amos Humiston was as a person by piecing together all the known information about him (part five).

Caregiving lessons from a two-legged friend and from a four-legged friend

2009-04-01T19:46:00.003-05:00

Two recent pieces in the New York Times discussed the difference a caring companion makes in coping with serious illness.

First, a medical student reflects on the comfort and companionship a man gave to two patients who faced death and long recovery.

His story, I realized, was a kind of love story, and in some way it evoked all of our stories, whether we are doctor or patient, comforter or comforted, healer or healed. Josh reaffirmed for me what we medical professionals know but all too easily forget: the human story is not a series of illnesses and treatments that we manage, but is an unfolding mystery — a process with which we ourselves are in ongoing communion, both as witnesses and as full participants.

Also, from the "Well" health blog, Dana Jennings tells Life Lessons from the Family Dog--the author's struggle with agressive prostate cancer and the contemporaneous age-related decline in his dog's health.

Even so, as I face my own profound health issues, it is my dog’s poor health that is piercing me to the heart. I’m dreading that morning when I walk downstairs and … well, those of us who love dogs understand that all dog stories end the same way.
. . .
Dogs also tell us – especially when we’re sick – of our own finitude. And, partly, that’s why we cry when they die, because we also know that all human-being stories end the same way, too.

Happy April!

2009-04-01T19:25:00.002-05:00

Nothing says "spring" like a wad of processed sugar--MMMMM! Yes, it's time for Peeps. Check out this article about the marshmallow candy, in, of all places, Saveur magazine. Here is a summarizing excerpt:

It's not easy separating Peep fact from fiction, but this much is true:
• About 350 million chicks and 250 million bunnies will be produced this year.
• Peeps are made of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, potassium sorbate, artificial flavors, and carnauba wax.
• Each Peep packs a mere 32 calories and 0 grams of fat.
• Many connoisseurs prefer their Peeps stale.
• In 1991, Peeps lost their wings for a sleek, modern look.
• It used to take 27 hours to make a batch of Peeps; the gelatin had to harden overnight. Today, with new technology, it takes 8.5 minutes.
• Peeps receive their colors when they pass through a sort of wind tunnel and tinted sugar blows around and adheres to their sticky bodies.
• Other seasonal Peeps include Spooky Cats, Happy Pumpkins, Christmas Trees, and Snowmen.

And if you want to do more with your Peeps than just eat them (or see what other people do with them), check out the Washington Post's 2nd annual Peeps diorama contest.

(Photo by Daniel Leininger; used by permission.)

Preparing your will--good ways and not so good ways

2009-03-30T17:02:00.002-05:00

A recent Associated Press story described the various options for a person to write a will. First, the article stressed the importance of a will, "Even if you voiced your wishes to your family, the bottom line is that a proper will bestows a certain authority on your decisions."

The article continues by explaining that a person can hire an estate planning attorney, prepare a will online (or with computer software), or simply write one out for oneself. Here are the pros and cons for each method:

Estate planning attorney--

Hiring an attorney is probably the best approach if want to be sure you're making the most of tax and property laws.

Estate and trust attorneys should also be able to raise financial repercussions you didn't consider. Getting a lawyer's counsel is an especially good idea if you have a sizable estate or anticipate your wishes might trigger a family spat.

Even if your assets are very modest, you might simply get peace of mind knowing a professional is behind the wheel.

Online wills--
A basic will can easily be under $100 in cost. However, "the drawback of online will sites is that they don't offer personalized advice."

Do it yourself--
Although this version is easy and free, it may not be honored in some states if written by hand or if witnessed improperly. Furthermore, "it's easy to forget even basic details every will should include."

A Florida attorney did some research regardin online and software estate planning documents. See his blog entries on the topic here.

As a final aside, consider the backstory and the nearly 30-year saga of an estate in New York, as told by the New York Times. In a stunningly long-term family dispute concerning the dead man's will and his real estate holding, two sisters alleged their mother and brother conspired to divert the sisters' rightful share of their father's estate.

My "simple probate" article from the Wisconsin Law Review

2009-03-25T22:15:00.005-05:00

In case you are suffering from insomnia, I offer this aid--my published student comment from the Wisconsin Law Review, "A 'Simple' Probate Should Not Be This Complicated: Principles and Proposals for Revising Wisconsin's Statutes for Probate Summary Procedures." Granted the topic has limited appeal (probate attorneys, possibly legislators with too much time on their hands, and the aforementioned insomniacs), but the article explains the quirks of the current system in Wisconsin for settling small estates and offers ideas for improvements.

The article considers "law-in-action" (which is a hallmark of the University of Wisconsin Law School approach) as evidenced by the variations from county to county and from attorney to attorney in how this system is used by practitioners.

Collaborative family law membership

2009-03-25T22:06:00.004-05:00

I have recently become a member of the Collaborative Family Law Council of Wisconsin. In an earlier post, I described the collaborative style of law. Members of the council have access to educational and marketing resources, as well as a network of like-minded attorneys and other professionals to work with.

Besides the ways that collaborative law can assist divorcing couples, I am interested in the ways the collaborative approach can facilitate other family legal scenarios, such as estate planning.

Alternative, low-cost funeral options

2009-03-22T15:34:00.003-05:00

With the recession hitting everyone in the pocketbook, many families want to find lower cost options for the essentials--including funerals. Newsweek recently reported on simple funeral services that reduce the expense and overhead of traditional "casketed" funerals. The low-cost options usually involve cremation so that there are no embalming, casket, vault, or cemetery plot expenses. Also, even with a traditional funeral, families may reduce costs by trimming back, such as forgoing limosine services and buying a cheaper casket.

In a similar story, the Smithsonian magazine told the story of one family where a traditional funeral on one side of the family contrasted with the "do-it-yourself" funeral on the other side. For the DIY funeral, the family attended to the body of the deceased at home (with no embalming), built the casket, and delivered the body for cremation.

Although cost wasn't driving the decisions for the family members involved (the two funerals were different largely because of wishes of the deceased and the family), the cost difference was $7000 between the at-home preparation and funeral and the traditional embalming and funeral.

Photo by clearly ambiguous; used by permission.)

Remembering a champion of a disability theology

2009-03-22T15:11:00.002-05:00

Most of us have not heard of Nancy Eiesland, and I had not until I read her obituary in the New York Times. Her theology sounds fascinating and her life sounds amazing. Here are a couple short excerpts from the Times:

By the time of her death at 44 on March 10 [,2009], Ms. Eiesland had come to believe that God was in fact disabled, a view she articulated in her influential 1994 book, “The Disabled God: Toward a Liberatory Theology of Disability.” She pointed to the scene described in Luke 24:36-39 in which the risen Jesus invites his disciples to touch his wounds.

. . .

Ms. Eiesland’s insights added a religious angle to a new consciousness among the disabled that emerged in the 1960s in the fight for access to public facilities later guaranteed by the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. The movement progressed into cultural realms as disabled poets, writers and dramatists embraced disability as both cause and identity.

According to her husband, as referenced in the obituary, Ms. Eiesland's death was not caused by her disability.

(Photo by bunnyandcoco; used by permission.)

New link--Wills, Trusts & Estates Prof Blog

2009-03-18T22:25:00.006-05:00

If you are looking for daily news from the mass media and legal sources on all things related to estates and probate, check out the blog by Texas Tech University School of Law professor, Gerry W. Beyer, called Wills, Trusts & Estates Prof Blog.

Most days, Professor Beyer has multiple posts with news from around the country. Some of the news is interesting to any reader (like Anna Nicole Smith's estate--see, now you're interested!). Some posts are decidedly for estate and probate wonks like attorneys and law students, but read a few posts and even the most legally intricate items can hook you in.

For future reference, I've added a link to the professor's blog to my list at the right side of Live a Beautiful Story.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar is as lively as eight 5-year-olds (that's 40)

2009-03-18T22:04:00.006-05:00

For anyone age 45 and younger, the children's book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, was part of growing up. Its author and illustrator, Eric Carle, is profiled in a recent Newsweek story.

His 200-word story about a caterpillar who devours a sausage, a cupcake, a watermelon and more—there are holes drilled into the book to represent all that nibbling—celebrates its 40th anniversary this week. "

In addition to discussing Carle's literary work, the Newsweek story tells of his childhood in Nazi Germany where he was able to connect with art in spite of Hitler's reign of totalitarian control. Ultimately, Carle ended up in the United States, working as a graphic artist and illustrator.

[At 80 years old now,] Carle seems to have reached a sweet spot in his life—he posted a picture on his blog recently of him eating breakfast with a spoonful of his favorite food: Black Forest honey. "I'm very happy," he says. "In fact, I told my wife I've never been so happy." It might have taken him 40 years, but Eric Carle is finally as free as a butterfly.

Sepia restaurant in Chicago

2009-03-16T17:25:00.004-05:00

Lately, I've really been wanting to do another food post, so when we went to Chicago recently and had dinner at Sepia, I knew I had my topic.

Besides the great locally-sourced menu and laid-back, chic ambiance, Sepia comes with recommendations from friends and from Michelle Obama!

In January, the San Francisco Chronicle's story about the Obama's Chicago said this about Sepia:

Occupying an 1890s-era printing house, with decor that artfully intertwines the historic (old Chicago photos) and the modern (chandeliers encased in huge cylindrical shades), Sepia is said to be Michelle Obama's favorite restaurant. And its chef, Kendal Duque, was reportedly a top contender to cook for the Obamas at the White House.

"How much is that doggy in the split-up"

2009-03-16T17:10:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm showing my age with that (lame) reference to popular music (of another century, no less). However, the ABA family law listserv recently circulated this appeals case from New Jersey, under the subject of "dog custody." While that label gets attention, the decision is not really about custody at all, with no analysis parallel to child custody (except for a footnote alluding to amicus briefs asking the court to apply a "best interest of the dog" standard).

In the end, the court said the woman should receive the dog, not just its cash value. The court's analysis went like this. Beginning with the finding of the lower court, the court determined that the couple had agreed that the woman would receive the dog when they divided their property upon their split. (The couple was not married, so this is not a divorce case, which is not relevant in the court's analysis.) Next, after the man refused to give the dog to the woman, the court said that she could demand the dog back and not have to settle for the monetary value of the dog. The court reasoned that the dog had sentimental value beyond what the couple had paid for it, therefore, the woman was entitled to receive the dog specifically in the division of the couple's property.

Financial resources from the Wall Street Journal

2009-03-01T18:26:00.006-06:00

For useful tools and news on all types of personal financial questions, whether retirement, investments, taxes, you name it, check out the "Personal Finance" section of the Wall Street Journal. And for ease of future reference, I've added the link to my list on the right side of the blog.

Memories and metaphors after good-bye

2009-02-24T22:08:00.005-06:00

In this reflection on Slate.com, Meghan O'Rourke tells of her metaphor for her mother immediately following her mother's death:

I went outside onto my parents' porch without putting my coat on. The limp winter sun sparkled off the frozen snow on the lawn. "Please take good care of my mother," I said to the air. I addressed the fir tree she loved and the wind moving in it. "Please keep her safe for me."
. . .
The truth is, I need to experience my mother's presence in the world around me and not just in my head. Every now and then, I see a tree shift in the wind and its bend has, to my eye, a distinctly maternal cast. For me, my metaphor is—as all good metaphors ought to be—a persuasive transformation. In these moments, I do not say to myself that my mother is like the wind; I think she is the wind. I feel her: there, and there.

In a similar vein, Alan Jones wrote a reflection upon his retirement as dean of Grace Episcopal Cathedral in San Francisco. He commented that writing one's own obituary is an interesting exercise to gain clarity of one's priorities and purpose in life. Here is a poem he wrote about his own obituary writing exercise:

Pescadero--on Writing My Obituary

The instructions read,
"Only two hundred words."
The music of the movie, Shadowlands
contradicts my old dislike of Lewis,
his moralisms always hitting where it hurt.
Now--writing of my death--
I think he's right.--
At least he saw
glory in the noche oscura.

The dying sun
here in Richard's house
softly lights the Buddha's way,
filling me with an unbuddhist ache
of contented longing,
in the cycle of attachment.
The Zen bells ring,
telling me that while no meeting
in my life was insignificant,
the past is past.
Alone in the nunc eternum
of this moment,
I am surrounded
by clouds of witness.
My obituary written,
I live, for this moment,
on the other side of death,
with Buddha and his consort
in this Japanese retreat.
Mary and her Son
still keep me company,
teaching me to hope--
loving all sentient beings,
and being loved in return,
I see karma and providence
marry in the light of the fading sun.

(Photo by annia316 áƒ¦ ; used by permission.)

Caregivers who are (too) young

2009-02-23T17:16:00.004-06:00

When a child cares for an ailing parent, we usually think of an adult child caring for an infirm octogenarian. However, recently, the New York Times looked at minor children who care for their middle aged parents. As you might expect, the results are difficult and stressful, especially when financial resources like insurance are scarce and the families have few others to depend on.

Across the country, children are providing care for sick parents or grandparents — lifting frail bodies off beds or toilets, managing medication, washing, feeding, dressing, talking with doctors. Schools, social service agencies and health providers are often unaware of those responsibilities because families members may be too embarrassed, or stoic.

Some children develop maturity and self-esteem. But others grow anxious, depressed or angry, sacrifice social and extracurricular activities and miss — or quit — school.

Educators and social workers try to address the gaps in the lives of those in need. But identifying the families is only the first step. Sometimes, resources are just not at hand.

(Photo by NatyRive; used by permission.)

"Aging in place" may be a choice for some, but not for all

2009-02-23T16:55:00.007-06:00

"Aging in place" has come to mean elders living in their homes as long as possible, with the necessary and appropriate accomodations coming to them. Often, this means adapting the physical aspects of the house (e.g., grab bars in bathrooms) and in-home assistance for personal care or health care.

A recent Washington Post story explores the options of aging in place for elders, including the necessity of doing so for some because of the recession.

"One of the unwritten tragedies of the current housing price collapse is that for a host of reasons [e.g., money, job security, depreciated properties], a higher share of older Americans will be 'forced' to age in place, who might otherwise have considered alternative housing arrangements," said Stephen Golant, a gerontologist and geographer who teaches at the University of Florida.

But as a whole, many people may choose to stay in their homes for as long as possible. (Who among us hasn't heard an elderly relative express such a preference, especially over nursing home care.)

The article continues by quoting Peter Bell, executive director of the National Aging in Place Council: "Boomers may be more cognizant of the need to plan ahead because they have had to deal with their parents in a reaction mode."

Furthermore, most of the considerations of home accessability and personal care apply to people with disabilities of any age.

A recent story from the New York Times explains how architectural design, whether original or adapted, can successfully accomodate various levels of ability. As the designer featured in the story said, "[People] are only disabled if they can't do what they want to do. Architecture can eliminate disability by design."

(Photo by kamaru; used by permission.)

This year is the 200th anniversary of Lincoln's birth

2009-02-21T13:22:00.005-06:00

To celebrate the 200th anniversary of Lincoln, the Smithsonian Institution website offers a wide array of history, photos, and videos. Check out the special section of the website.

(Photo by dbking; used by permission.)

Obama, art, food

2009-02-21T12:20:00.005-06:00

Recently, the Smithsonian Institution displayed a portrait of Presidents Obama and Lincoln--made from cupcakes. Here is the New York Times post on the exhibit, which became a party where everyone ate the cupcakes.

Also, here is the Smithsonian's video of the artist telling her story about how she created the "mosaic" of the presidents.

(Photo by Luce Foundation Center, Smithsonian American Art Museum; video by Meredith Bragg.)

Even panhandlers need copy editors

2009-02-18T22:25:00.006-06:00

As an attorney who drafts numerous intricate legal documents, I pay close attention to word choices and usage.

And now, with the President's stimulus package getting so much attention, the New York Times looked at how even the signs that city panhandlers hold can reflect the current state of the economy. In place of a sign simply stating, "Homeless. Please help." the writer prepared new signs saying, "Please Support Pres. Obama’s Stimulus Plan, and begin right here … at the bottom … Thank you."

Shortly after the new signs were unveiled, it was too soon to determine the full effectiveness of the new wording, but at least a couple panhandlers had received more contributions.

(Photo by Brennan Cavanaugh.)

How easy is it to die green?

2009-02-18T22:02:00.005-06:00

A recent column on Slate.com examined the various environmental aspects of the funeral industry and burials. Options, like traditional embalming and burial, cremation, and donation of one's body to science, are discussed in environmental and "carbon footprint" terms. For example,

A private 2007 study commissioned by an Australian cemetery found that the average cremation at that facility produced roughly four times as much CO2 equivalent as a burial. However, when the long-term fossil fuel costs of lawn-mowing and general grounds upkeep were factored in, burials had a 10 percent greater environmental footprint.

In case you are curious (I knew you were), Wisconsin statutes include an entire chapter on disposition of human remains.

If all the environmental burial discussion seems like old news, the concept has indeed been around for a few years. Without endorsing a particular approach, I offer this example--a link to the Green Burial Council, which describes itself as follows:

Since 2005, the Green Burial Council has been working to make burial sustainable for the planet, meaningful for the families, and economically viable for the provider. And in that short period of time, we've emerged as the "gold standard" among consumers, land trusts, park service agencies as well the cemetery/funeral profession.

(Photo by lincoln_loggers; used by permission.)

The difference "-ly" makes

2009-02-11T22:21:00.009-06:00

In my law school elder law class, we discussed how being an "elder" is often honored and admirable, but "elderly" is nearly a derogatory term.

Jane Gross's New York Times blog, the New Old Age, includes this discussion about terms often used for elders in our society.

The International Longevity Center in New York City and the Aging Services of California have compiled a stylebook "to guide media professionals through the minefield of politically correct and politically incorrect ways of identifying and portraying the elderly."

For example,

[In addition to sparing use of "elderly," and avoiding "senior citizen" and "golden years,"] “feisty,” “spry,” “feeble,” “eccentric,” “senile” and “grandmotherly” are also unwelcome terms, patronizing and demeaning, as is calling someone “80 years young.”

The "Wollongong Senior Citizens Centre" photo is just for kicks. Maybe it should be reworded, "Older Adults Centre"?

(Photo by vanessapr; used by permission.)

Some introspection for assisted reproduction professionals

2009-02-11T22:01:00.005-06:00

More on the ethics, family expectations, and financial costs of assisted reproduction in the aftermath of "the octuplets."

The New York Times recently ran this piece on the unfolding questions around assisted reproduction. Here's an excerpt:

[U]nlike some other countries, the United States has no laws to enforce those guidelines [of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine]. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a surveillance system that collects data on fertility clinics, but reporting is voluntary and there are no government sanctions for not reporting.

As a result, experts say many doctors are still implanting too many embryos to increase the chance of pregnancy. Only 11 percent of in vitro procedures in the United States involve single embryos, according to 2006 data from the C.D.C.

But the 2008 guidelines say that in many cases, it is healthier to implant only one embryo, even if it means the process has to be repeated, because of the risk of multiple births. In the case of Ms. Suleman, the California Medical Board said it was investigating her fertility doctor, Michael M. Kamrava, to determine whether accepted standards of medical practice had been violated. In an interview with NBC News, Ms. Suleman, 33, said that Dr. Kamrava had implanted six embryos, and that two of them had divided into twins, resulting in eight babies.

Like I've said before, sometimes the laws or regulations for new areas of life have a hard time keeping up. In this area, it's not even in the rear-view mirror.

(Photo by Colin Gregory Palmer; used by permission.)

Birth of octuplets causes ethical stir

2009-02-04T22:02:00.005-06:00

By now, most people have heard about the 33-year-old California woman who gave birth to octuplets. The astonishing thing is that she conceived the babies by having the embryos implanted. In addition, she already has six other children.

In assisted reproduction circles, HUGE ethical questions are swirling. Just for starters, as the Washington Post reports,

. . . [T]he medical community, particularly fertility doctors, [says] it goes against the mission of their work: to minimize high-risk, multiple-birth pregnancy and safely provide a woman with a single healthy baby. It is also raising questions about the lax regulations covering doctors and clinics that provide such services.

The reality is that assisted reproduction is governed more by guidelines than by strict regulation.

"Ensuing God" is my blog for religion in America

2009-02-04T21:49:00.008-06:00

As a spot for occasional comments on religion and law in America, especially the history, practice and future of Christianity and its involvement in society, I blog at "Ensuing God" (ensuinggod.blogspot.com).

Or course you can expect news and comments about relevant U. S. Supreme Court cases, politics and religion, and the topics of public discourse and spirituality.

And, not all aspects of religion are serious (God has a sense of humor after all), so watch for lighter entries too.

(Photo used by permission of image*after.)

"Happy Obama Day"--January 20

2009-01-26T11:56:00.010-06:00

Last week after the inauguration of President Obama, I heard someone greet a friend on the street, "Happy Obama Day!" What a way to begin a fresh start.

For me, the historic inauguration was summed up with this story from NPR's Morning Edition about a 105-year-old woman who was on the national Mall for the event. Ella Mae Johnson said, "We were all there; we were there waiting. It didn't matter what my color was. It didn't matter what your color was. And I could not ask for anything better."

Also on the topic of President Obama, check out this story from Smithsonian magazine about the graphic artist, Shepard Fairey, who created the now iconic images of Barack Obama.

An angle on Chinese New Year in America

2009-01-26T11:56:00.007-06:00

Happy Year of the Ox!

A recent L. A. Times story tells of families with adopted children from Asia celebrating the New Year:

For the Larsons and thousands of U.S. families who have adopted children from Asia, the Lunar New Year is a moment to help their children reconnect with their homeland and for parents to discover a culture that would otherwise be foreign to them. Lunar New Year, which occurs today, is regarded as the most important cultural holiday among Chinese, Vietnamese and some Koreans.

(Photo by dbking; used by permission.)

Reasons for paying attention to the healthcare system

2009-01-20T15:50:00.005-06:00

If you don't have your own personal reasons for considering the immediate and long-term concerns of the American healthcare system, consider these from an interview in the New York Times. A notable and accomplished physician discusses the current medical culture, the President's proposals for change, and aspects of our healthcare that all of us should think about. A prominent topic of the interview is the discussion of advance directives for medical treatment at the end of life.

If you missed the Dallas Morning News series on end of life issues, check out my post on it here.

(Photo by Erica Marshall; used by permission.)

Taking the battle against cancer to a new front

2009-01-14T18:13:00.004-06:00

Wired magazine recently offered this interesting piece on how the efforts spent on the usual approach to cancer treatment and research--cure--may be better spent on an often secondary approach--early detection.

The article explores the elusiveness of successful prevention and early detection, in the face of this stark statistic: "If we find cancer early, 90 percent survive, if we find cancer late, 10 percent survive."

As detection and treatments advance, many cancer patients and their families share stories of strength and commitment. For example, see the L. A. Times column by Al Martinez, who shares the story of his adult daughter Cindy:

I'm putting her name in print today so that you can tell me stories of your own fight against cancer; so you can help our family find the strength and courage to defeat the enemy within. We're all family in a way, you and I and Cinelli and Cindy and the rest. We share a mutual village. Cindy was handed to me a long time ago and occupies a special place in my life and in my heart, and I'm not about to hand her back.

(Photo by Mataparda; used by permission.)

Poetry to cope with one's mortality

2008-12-29T20:03:00.006-06:00

In an essay that pays tribute to a friend who died of cancer, a writer in the New York Times magazine shared how her friend's poetry expressed the "clarity" cancer brought to his life.

She quotes her friend, Jason Shinder: "Cancer is a tremendous opportunity to have your face pressed right up against the glass of your mortality."

In a brief poem, he expressed his inner fear of his disease:

I've been avoiding my illness

because I'm afraid

I will die and when I do,

I'll end up alone again.

However, his journals of poems also express his philosophical belief in hope and something bigger than self:

"The hours are left for vanishing and also for joy and for blessing and gratitude."

(Photo by Deb; used by permission.)

Fiction is more beautiful than reality . . .

2008-12-29T19:28:00.003-06:00

. . . at least when it comes to escaping the Nazis.

This story from the New York Times tells of the von Trapp family (of Sound of Music fame), which is now in its third generation of operating a ski lodge in Vermont. Like any other family, the von Trapps have had their share of happiness as well as disputes.

Also from the Times, a soon-to-be-released memoir was revealed to be a fabrication. In the "memoir," the author claimed he survived a Nazi concentration camp in his childhood and then grew up to meet and marry the girl who showed him kindness by throwing apples to him over the camp fence.

The fiction of both stories is beautiful like a fairy tale, but, unfortunately, true-life inspirational stories are exceptionally rare.

(Photo by Emi YaÃ±ez; used by permission.)

End of life series from the Dallas Morning News

2008-12-28T18:28:00.008-06:00

The Dallas Morning News ran an excellent five-part series on end of life decisions and difficulties. The "Edge of Life" series follows a palliative care team at Baylor University Medical Center. Nurse Min Patel and several of her patients discuss, prepare for, and address the family, health, and spiritual dimensions of dealing with death in the face of modern medical technology.

My nut-shell summary:
Old way: "Aversion to their own mortality was at the core of doctors' inhibitions in helping patients at the end of life . . . . It made physicians hide behind stiff white coats, rush from room to room, and turn clinical and cold when they couldn't fix or rescue."

New way: Palliative care professionals address all relevant issues head-on. "[They] can't fix everything, but [the patients] don't have to go it alone." The outcomes are better for all those involved when they realize "that using more drugs and devices wasn't always the best way to show love."

The stories in this series are so touching it makes you wish all death and grieving could be as good as this featured approach aspires to.

Also, check out my previous post on hospice care.

(Photo by blueskygirl; used by permission.)

Gay marriage in a positive religious light

2008-12-28T18:27:00.003-06:00

Gay marriage is not going away as a national issue (rightfully so), and Newsweek takes a look at the frequently overlooked religious dimension of the pro-gay-marriage advocates. The author explores the biblical references to family, marriage, sexuality, and love, and how the biblical interpretation has evolved over the centuries.

In support of gay marriage, the following excerpt summarizes the article:

People get married "for their mutual joy," explains the Rev. Chloe Breyer, executive director of the Interfaith Center in New York, quoting the Episcopal marriage ceremony. That's what religious people do: care for each other in spite of difficulty, she adds. In marriage, couples grow closer to God: "Being with one another in community is how you love God. That's what marriage is about."

(Photo by tico24; used by permission.)

Nursing home "five star" rating system

2008-12-23T15:43:00.008-06:00

Medicare has launched a new online system for rating and comparing nursing homes. Besides the various tools to explore nursing home information, the site also provides some basic information on alternatives to nursing home care.

In a charmingly colloquially phrased opinion piece, the Honolulu Advertiser summarizes the new system this way:

The long-term care of Hawai'i's kupuna [honored elders] will become a bigger issue in the future, as more of the population gets older and in need of more intensive care.

Certainly, efforts to put more state and federal funding into at-home care — so-called "aging in place" — should be a priority. It can be more cost-effective, more comfortable for the kupuna and help open up nursing home beds for those who really need that higher level of care.

Making sure Hawai'i's nursing homes offer the highest quality care possible is a joint responsibility — the government, the industry and consumers all have a role to play.

The rating system, while not perfect, provides a useful measure of how we're doing and more important, how we can improve.

A recent report (pdf) on effectiveness of programs for helping low-income Wisconsin residents to live at home or in facilities than nursing homes shows that alternatives cost less than typical nursing home care. The next big goal is to expand the programs across the state so that the alternatives are available to all who want them.

(Photo by laughlin; used by permission.)

End of life decisions

2008-12-15T20:35:00.004-06:00

Jane Gross of the New York Times, continues her excellent blog on aging, with which she frequently reflects on her own mother's aging, final illness, and death. This entry is indicative of her series, both in its personal dimension and in the useful information provided.

Gross shares the process of her mother's decisions and actions just before her death:

She often longed for the oblivion of Alzheimer’s disease. But her sharp mind — she never skipped a beat — entitled her to organize her own death, within legal limits, which she did by deciding to stop food and hydration. We had discussed and researched this option, and we had read enough to be reasonably confident this manner of dying was not a frightful ordeal but rather a gentle death. We trusted that an enlightened nursing home like the one she was in wouldn’t force her to eat and drink. They had readily accepted earlier decisions to forgo diagnostic tests or hospitalizations, and later antibiotics for pneumonia.

Our study of what is known as V.S.E.D., or “voluntarily stopping eating and drinking,” was impressive for amateurs, if I do say so myself. My mother had a pretty good death, on her own terms, and we had the nursing home’s full support. I’m proud and grateful to have been able to advocate for her and to have been by her side.

The end of life process will only continue to get more attention as hospice and palliative care programs expand and become better known. Also, advance directives for health care and good powers of attorney for health care can undergird a person's decisions, even when the person is not capable of expressing his or her wishes at the time.

(Photo by mike 23; used by permission.)

We love our pets... part five

2008-12-15T17:06:00.003-06:00

If you need something to lighten your mood, or if you want to see what some people do when they have more time or money than most of us, check out the doghouse designs featured in the L.A. Times. The gallery of photos is entitled "Dogitecture."

Many designs parallel human residential styles: modern, country, green. The photos with dogs are the best, such as the big house with the little dog, the dog lying on the roof of the doghouse, and, my favorite, the St. Bernard in front of the Swiss chalet.

We love our pets--part four

2008-12-15T15:56:00.006-06:00

Divorcing and pet custody?

Earlier this year, the Santa Barbara Independent ran this piece on divorce, pet "custody," and hints on prevailing in court on the subject.

A man famous for his amnesia passed away

2008-12-09T21:09:00.005-06:00

Last week Henry Gustav Molaison, known to his medical and scientific observers as H.M, died at age 82. At age 27 Molaison was the subject of surgery to treat severe seizures he experienced, but ultimately the surgery left him with amnesia--he could not remember anything beyond selected memories of his pre-surgery life.

Here's a snippet from the New York Times obituary for him:

For the next 55 years, each time he met a friend, each time he ate a meal, each time he walked in the woods, it was as if for the first time.

And for those five decades, he was recognized as the most important patient in the history of brain science. As a participant in hundreds of studies, he helped scientists understand the biology of learning, memory and physical dexterity, as well as the fragile nature of human identity.

From the Times account, it seems that he led a pleasant, if not traditionally fulfilling, life.

In conjunction with noting Mr. Molaison's death, Slate.com offered a brief explanation of amnesia, including this description:

There are two main types of amnesia: retrograde and anterograde. Retrograde means you lose your memories from before the surgery, injury, or whatever incident caused the memory loss. . . . Anterograde means you lose the ability to form new memories but can still recall things from before the inciting event. That was the case with H.M., who could remember scattered childhood memories.

(Photo by erat; used by permission.)

Pearl Harbor anniversary

2008-12-09T17:27:00.003-06:00

The anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor was December 7, and the Honolulu Advertiser had this piece about the annual remembrance and the dwindling number of veterans who were there. Most surviving veterans are in their eighties and nineties, and the last official reunion was held in 2006.

Here are comments from one of the veterans at the remembrance:

"I feel very proud that I've survived," said [George] Smith, of Washington. "I'm very honored by all these people. I'm no hero. I was simply doing my duty."

In a related anniversary, on December 18, 1944, the U.S. Supreme Court decided Korematsu v. U.S., which upheld the racially discriminatory Japanese interment camps during World War II. Here is a link to the ABA Journal's short piece on Korematsu.

(Photo by Andrew Shimabuku / The Honolulu Advertiser.)

International Day of Persons with Disabilities

2008-12-03T16:30:00.003-06:00

December 3 is the United Nation's International Day of Persons with Disabilities. This year's theme is "Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities: Dignity and justice for all of us."

Slate.com offers this incredible photo gallery of persons living with various disabilities--truly a testimony to the power of the human spirit.

(Photo by Dan Kamminga; used by permission.)

New link: Exceptional Parent

2008-12-02T21:43:00.004-06:00

Check out the Exceptional Parent website for numerous resources for parents and family members of those with disabilities. I have added the link to the list on the right.

To access articles or information, you need to register, but it is simple and free. In addition, you can see topics covered in the print version of the Exceptional Parent magazine, and you can subscribe or order individual copies.

Mental perception can be "fooled"

2008-12-02T21:40:00.008-06:00

A fascinating piece on psychology and mental perception appeared in the New York Times.

"[N]euroscientists have shown that they can make [mental roleplaying exercises] physical, creating a “body swapping” illusion that could have a profound effect on a range of therapeutic techniques. At the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience last month, Swedish researchers presented evidence that the brain, when tricked by optical and sensory illusions, can quickly adopt any other human form, no matter how different, as its own."

The end result, through special camera-equipped goggles, creates an alternate point of view by fooling the brain into "inhabiting" the body of another.

(Photo by reportergimmi; used by permission.)

Can surrogacy ever go "mainstream"?

2008-12-02T21:28:00.007-06:00

Recently, the New York Times magazine told the story of a woman whose child was carried by a gestational surrogate.

In expressing her conflicting emotions, the author writes, "It was a desperate measure, to be sure, and one complicated by questions from all the big sectiors: financial, religious, social, moral, legal, political."

Even amidst her mix of feeling inferior and feeling elated, the new mother shares her joy of participating in the miracle of life: "The miracle of [our son's] existence speaks to the generosity of humanity--and to the magical, unified coordination of more than a dozen people in the act of his creation."

Earlier this year, Newsweek reported about military wives who become surrogates for numerous reasons, including the extra income.

(Photo by anyjazz65; used by permission.)

Father Damien's leper colony has come a long way

2008-12-02T21:13:00.003-06:00

In 1873, Father Damien, a Belgian priest, arrived in Hawaii to begin a mission for those permanently exiled from society, patients suffering from leprosy, now known as Hansen's disease.

As the New York Times reports, a community of patients remains in the village on Molokai where the mission began. "Today, just 24 patients are left: 24 people who experienced the counterintuitive twinning of loneliness and community, of all that dying and all that living. Here, you may have grieved over the forced surrender of your newborn; you may also have rejoiced in finding a life partner who understood. "

The story of the survivors is a testament to their dignity, which was first championed by the nineteenth century missionary who lived, served, and died among them.

Nebraska's safe haven law for children focuses on only infants now

2008-11-23T16:49:00.004-06:00

As reported in the L.A. Times:

Nebraska on [November 21] closed a loophole in a controversial law that had allowed parents to abandon children as old as 18 at hospitals. The unicameral Legislature voted 43 to 5 to make abandonment legal only for infants up to 30 days old. Gov. Dave Heineman signed the emergency bill [the same] afternoon, and it takes effect [November 22].

Nebraska's law had been controversial for nearly three months as people from Nebraska and across the country abandoned their children in that state. Some children were as old as young teenagers. Now, the state's law is more in keeping with its original intent and that of similar laws around the nation, which is to protect infants when a desperate (and often very young) parent feels compelled to abandon the baby.

However, Nebraska's recent experiences show that parents of children of all ages can become desperate in the face of economic, health, and behavioral difficulties. Desperate even to the point of abandoning the children. A related story in the Times included this quotation:

[C]hildren's advocates as well as parents . . . say the state has done nothing to address the problem exposed by the safe-haven law: desperate families quietly struggling to raise mentally ill children with little help from the government. "There are parents like me who really need help," [one parent] said. "I don't know how to help him. I don't know what else to do."