Memories and metaphors after good-bye

In this reflection on Slate.com, Meghan O'Rourke tells of her metaphor for her mother immediately following her mother's death:

I went outside onto my parents' porch without putting my coat on. The limp winter sun sparkled off the frozen snow on the lawn. "Please take good care of my mother," I said to the air. I addressed the fir tree she loved and the wind moving in it. "Please keep her safe for me."

. . .

The truth is, I need to experience my mother's presence in the world around me and not just in my head. Every now and then, I see a tree shift in the wind and its bend has, to my eye, a distinctly maternal cast. For me, my metaphor is—as all good metaphors ought to be—a persuasive transformation. In these moments, I do not say to myself that my mother is like the wind; I think she is the wind. I feel her: there, and there.

In a similar vein, Alan Jones wrote a reflection upon his retirement as dean of Grace Episcopal Cathedral in San Francisco. He commented that writing one's own obituary is an interesting exercise to gain clarity of one's priorities and purpose in life. Here is a poem he wrote about his own obituary writing exercise:

Pescadero--on Writing My Obituary

The instructions read,
"Only two hundred words."
The music of the movie, Shadowlands
contradicts my old dislike of Lewis,
his moralisms always hitting where it hurt.
Now--writing of my death--
I think he's right.--
At least he saw
glory in the noche oscura.

The dying sun
here in Richard's house
softly lights the Buddha's way,
filling me with an unbuddhist ache
of contented longing,
in the cycle of attachment.

The Zen bells ring,
telling me that while no meeting
in my life was insignificant,
the past is past.

Alone in the nunc eternum
of this moment,
I am surrounded
by clouds of witness.
My obituary written,
I live, for this moment,
on the other side of death,
with Buddha and his consort
in this Japanese retreat.
Mary and her Son
still keep me company,
teaching me to hope--
loving all sentient beings,
and being loved in return,
I see karma and providence
marry in the light of the fading sun.

(Photo by annia316 ღ ; used by permission.)

Caregivers who are (too) young

When a child cares for an ailing parent, we usually think of an adult child caring for an infirm octogenarian. However, recently, the New York Times looked at minor children who care for their middle aged parents. As you might expect, the results are difficult and stressful, especially when financial resources like insurance are scarce and the families have few others to depend on.

Across the country, children are providing care for sick parents or grandparents — lifting frail bodies off beds or toilets, managing medication, washing, feeding, dressing, talking with doctors. Schools, social service agencies and health providers are often unaware of those responsibilities because families members may be too embarrassed, or stoic.

Some children develop maturity and self-esteem. But others grow anxious, depressed or angry, sacrifice social and extracurricular activities and miss — or quit — school.

Educators and social workers try to address the gaps in the lives of those in need. But identifying the families is only the first step. Sometimes, resources are just not at hand.

(Photo by NatyRive; used by permission.)

"Aging in place" may be a choice for some, but not for all

"Aging in place" has come to mean elders living in their homes as long as possible, with the necessary and appropriate accomodations coming to them. Often, this means adapting the physical aspects of the house (e.g., grab bars in bathrooms) and in-home assistance for personal care or health care.

A recent Washington Post story explores the options of aging in place for elders, including the necessity of doing so for some because of the recession.

"One of the unwritten tragedies of the current housing price collapse is that for a host of reasons [e.g., money, job security, depreciated properties], a higher share of older Americans will be 'forced' to age in place, who might otherwise have considered alternative housing arrangements," said Stephen Golant, a gerontologist and geographer who teaches at the University of Florida.

But as a whole, many people may choose to stay in their homes for as long as possible. (Who among us hasn't heard an elderly relative express such a preference, especially over nursing home care.)

The article continues by quoting Peter Bell, executive director of the National Aging in Place Council: "Boomers may be more cognizant of the need to plan ahead because they have had to deal with their parents in a reaction mode."

Furthermore, most of the considerations of home accessability and personal care apply to people with disabilities of any age.

A recent story from the New York Times explains how architectural design, whether original or adapted, can successfully accomodate various levels of ability. As the designer featured in the story said, "[People] are only disabled if they can't do what they want to do. Architecture can eliminate disability by design."

(Photo by kamaru; used by permission.)

This year is the 200th anniversary of Lincoln's birth

To celebrate the 200th anniversary of Lincoln, the Smithsonian Institution website offers a wide array of history, photos, and videos. Check out the special section of the website.

(Photo by dbking; used by permission.)

Obama, art, food

Recently, the Smithsonian Institution displayed a portrait of Presidents Obama and Lincoln--made from cupcakes. Here is the New York Times post on the exhibit, which became a party where everyone ate the cupcakes.

Also, here is the Smithsonian's video of the artist telling her story about how she created the "mosaic" of the presidents.

(Photo by Luce Foundation Center, Smithsonian American Art Museum; video by Meredith Bragg.)

Even panhandlers need copy editors

As an attorney who drafts numerous intricate legal documents, I pay close attention to word choices and usage.

And now, with the President's stimulus package getting so much attention, the New York Times looked at how even the signs that city panhandlers hold can reflect the current state of the economy. In place of a sign simply stating, "Homeless. Please help." the writer prepared new signs saying, "Please Support Pres. Obama’s Stimulus Plan, and begin right here … at the bottom … Thank you."

Shortly after the new signs were unveiled, it was too soon to determine the full effectiveness of the new wording, but at least a couple panhandlers had received more contributions.

(Photo by Brennan Cavanaugh.)

How easy is it to die green?

A recent column on Slate.com examined the various environmental aspects of the funeral industry and burials. Options, like traditional embalming and burial, cremation, and donation of one's body to science, are discussed in environmental and "carbon footprint" terms. For example,

A private 2007 study commissioned by an Australian cemetery found that the average cremation at that facility produced roughly four times as much CO2 equivalent as a burial. However, when the long-term fossil fuel costs of lawn-mowing and general grounds upkeep were factored in, burials had a 10 percent greater environmental footprint.

In case you are curious (I knew you were), Wisconsin statutes include an entire chapter on disposition of human remains.

If all the environmental burial discussion seems like old news, the concept has indeed been around for a few years. Without endorsing a particular approach, I offer this example--a link to the Green Burial Council, which describes itself as follows:

Since 2005, the Green Burial Council has been working to make burial sustainable for the planet, meaningful for the families, and economically viable for the provider. And in that short period of time, we've emerged as the "gold standard" among consumers, land trusts, park service agencies as well the cemetery/funeral profession.

(Photo by lincoln_loggers; used by permission.)

The difference "-ly" makes

In my law school elder law class, we discussed how being an "elder" is often honored and admirable, but "elderly" is nearly a derogatory term.

Jane Gross's New York Times blog, the New Old Age, includes this discussion about terms often used for elders in our society.

The International Longevity Center in New York City and the Aging Services of California have compiled a stylebook "to guide media professionals through the minefield of politically correct and politically incorrect ways of identifying and portraying the elderly."

For example,

[In addition to sparing use of "elderly," and avoiding "senior citizen" and "golden years,"] “feisty,” “spry,” “feeble,” “eccentric,” “senile” and “grandmotherly” are also unwelcome terms, patronizing and demeaning, as is calling someone “80 years young.”

The "Wollongong Senior Citizens Centre" photo is just for kicks. Maybe it should be reworded, "Older Adults Centre"?

(Photo by vanessapr; used by permission.)

Some introspection for assisted reproduction professionals

More on the ethics, family expectations, and financial costs of assisted reproduction in the aftermath of "the octuplets."

The New York Times recently ran this piece on the unfolding questions around assisted reproduction. Here's an excerpt:

[U]nlike some other countries, the United States has no laws to enforce those guidelines [of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine]. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a surveillance system that collects data on fertility clinics, but reporting is voluntary and there are no government sanctions for not reporting.

As a result, experts say many doctors are still implanting too many embryos to increase the chance of pregnancy. Only 11 percent of in vitro procedures in the United States involve single embryos, according to 2006 data from the C.D.C.

But the 2008 guidelines say that in many cases, it is healthier to implant only one embryo, even if it means the process has to be repeated, because of the risk of multiple births. In the case of Ms. Suleman, the California Medical Board said it was investigating her fertility doctor, Michael M. Kamrava, to determine whether accepted standards of medical practice had been violated. In an interview with NBC News, Ms. Suleman, 33, said that Dr. Kamrava had implanted six embryos, and that two of them had divided into twins, resulting in eight babies.

Like I've said before, sometimes the laws or regulations for new areas of life have a hard time keeping up. In this area, it's not even in the rear-view mirror.

(Photo by Colin Gregory Palmer; used by permission.)

Birth of octuplets causes ethical stir

By now, most people have heard about the 33-year-old California woman who gave birth to octuplets. The astonishing thing is that she conceived the babies by having the embryos implanted. In addition, she already has six other children.

In assisted reproduction circles, HUGE ethical questions are swirling. Just for starters, as the Washington Post reports,

. . . [T]he medical community, particularly fertility doctors, [says] it goes against the mission of their work: to minimize high-risk, multiple-birth pregnancy and safely provide a woman with a single healthy baby. It is also raising questions about the lax regulations covering doctors and clinics that provide such services.

The reality is that assisted reproduction is governed more by guidelines than by strict regulation.

"Ensuing God" is my blog for religion in America

As a spot for occasional comments on religion and law in America, especially the history, practice and future of Christianity and its involvement in society, I blog at "Ensuing God" (ensuinggod.blogspot.com).

Or course you can expect news and comments about relevant U. S. Supreme Court cases, politics and religion, and the topics of public discourse and spirituality.

And, not all aspects of religion are serious (God has a sense of humor after all), so watch for lighter entries too.

(Photo used by permission of image*after.)