Nebraska's safe haven law for children focuses on only infants now

As reported in the L.A. Times:

Nebraska on [November 21] closed a loophole in a controversial law that had allowed parents to abandon children as old as 18 at hospitals. The unicameral Legislature voted 43 to 5 to make abandonment legal only for infants up to 30 days old. Gov. Dave Heineman signed the emergency bill [the same] afternoon, and it takes effect [November 22].

Nebraska's law had been controversial for nearly three months as people from Nebraska and across the country abandoned their children in that state. Some children were as old as young teenagers. Now, the state's law is more in keeping with its original intent and that of similar laws around the nation, which is to protect infants when a desperate (and often very young) parent feels compelled to abandon the baby.

However, Nebraska's recent experiences show that parents of children of all ages can become desperate in the face of economic, health, and behavioral difficulties. Desperate even to the point of abandoning the children. A related story in the Times included this quotation:

[C]hildren's advocates as well as parents . . . say the state has done nothing to address the problem exposed by the safe-haven law: desperate families quietly struggling to raise mentally ill children with little help from the government. "There are parents like me who really need help," [one parent] said. "I don't know how to help him. I don't know what else to do."

Video games with a special mission

This story in the Washington Post tells about video simulators that help veterans learn new ways to do old tasks. For example, a veteran with injuries may need to learn to drive with one hand or with adaptive controls. Also, the simulators can help reduce stress as veterans recover from their injuries.

Here's a bit of the story:

Soldiers serving overseas are taught a different set of driving skills than the rest of us: Speed up when driving through overpasses, don't use turn signals and don't stop at intersections. [The] new driving simulator is designed to help bring those instincts back to civilian levels, where the rules of the road take priority.
. . .

[M]odified game controllers are useful for amputees seeking to take part in the pastimes they enjoyed before they lost a limb, as well as for patients who need to rebuild hand strength.

How much can and should children pay for their elderly parents' care?

Jane Gross, the blogger of the amazing New York Times' "The New Old Age," shares her experience and other good information about adult children's responsibilities for their parents' long-term care. Some thirty states even make adult children legally responsible for such support.

Here is an excerpt from Adult Children, Aging Parents and the Law:

At the end of my mother’s life, for six months, a year at most, Medicaid paid for her care in a nursing home. She was broke by then, after living on a pittance since she was widowed at 58, using the proceeds from her house to pay for six years of assisted living and part of her nursing home stay and never seeing a penny from a long-term care insurance policy that cost a bundle but covered none of what she needed. She had given my brother and me no up-front money to hasten her eligibility for Medicaid and died with $26 to her name and nothing to leave to her children. The good news was we didn’t even have to put her will in probate.

. . .

I sometimes wondered why adult children weren’t legally responsible for their parents’ financial support, assuming they had money in the bank. Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t want to pay for her $14,000-a-month (yes, $14,000) nursing home bill. But I could have, if truth be told, at least for a while.

(Photo by makelessnoise; used by permission.)

A new ray of light (and hope) for children with autism

A diagnosis of autism is heartbreaking for the parents of a young child whose development is delayed or impaired. Now, the Washington Post reports that a new study seems to indicate that some children with autism spectrum disorders can be treated and possibly even "cured." Of course, the study raise hopes for parents, and therefore these early results are controversial if they only offer a false hope. Yet, the study may lead to a fuller understanding of autism and the treatments and teaching techniques to assist the children effected by the disorder.

"I don't know that the children 'recovered,' though they did improve . . . to the extent that they no longer met the diagnostic criteria," [Vanderbilt University professor of pediatrics and psychology Wendy] Stone said. "Almost all continued to have some form of developmental disorder."

"I think the most hopeful message we need to give parents," said Geraldine Dawson, chief science officer of the nonprofit group Autism Speaks, "is that all children with autism are capable of learning and developing new skills with the help of early intervention."

We love our pets... part three

In addition to doctors, nurses, high-tech treatments, family, and friends, cancer patients have another ally in their care and survival--a pet. The Washington Post reports testimonials from breast cancer survivors about how their pets helped them cope with cancer. The cancer survivors even made a calendar featuring photos of themselves with their pets (see the calendar photo gallery here).

There are some common themes in the way the women talk about how their pets have journeyed with them through their cancer. "Just their warm heartbeat lying next to me was incredibly healing," says Connie Reider, who finds purpose in a workshop she teaches for cancer survivors called INscape, the Healing Art of Photography, and finds comfort in her Portuguese water dog named Splash.

The organization behind the calendar project is Critters for the Cure.

(Photo by Carol Guzy - Washington Post)

Same-sex marriage proponents reflect

For at least a couple decades, gay-rights proponents have made strides by comparing discrimination based on sexual orientation to discrimination based on race. However, such a comparison seems to have fallen short in California's recent passage of a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage (after the state's supreme court had ruled last spring to allow gay marriages under California's constitution).

Now, proponents of same-sex marriage are reflecting on what prompted the majority of voters to vote for Barak Obama but vote against gay marriage. For one, the "homophobia is like racial discrimination" argument did not hold up with enough voters.

A recent piece on Slate.com reconsiders the anaolgy, especially in terms of gender roles, including this comment:

If we avoid the tempting but misleading analogy to race and look at what's directly at stake, the combination of widespread opposition to same-sex marriage and equally widespread support for other gay rights is easier to understand. Gay rights in employment and civil unions don't require the elimination of longstanding and culturally potent sex roles. Same-sex marriage does. And while a lot of people reject the narrow and repressive sex roles of the past, many others long for the kind of meaningful gender identities that traditional marriage seems to offer.

Across the nation today, many people rallied in support of same-sex marriage. Here's the coverage from the New York Times.

(Photo by Jeff Belmonte; used by permission.)

Biology and family dynamics blur

In a slightly irreverent telling of the scientific and medical news, William Slateren writes in Slate.com about "another guy got his mother-in-law pregnant." No, it's not a made-for-tv, sordid interfamily love triangle.

When a "mother" was unable to bear her own child because she had had a hysterectomy, the woman and her husband had her egg fertilized with his sperm (so far, so good), and then the embryo was implanted in the woman's mother. Yes, the baby's grandmother was the surrogate.

For quite a few years, assisted reproduction, surrogacy, and the peeling apart of maternity have been taking various twists and turns. As usual, the law has had to catch up with people's family arrangements. In many cases, the law isn't even in the rear-view mirror yet.

(Photo by Jose Miguel Serrano; used by permission.)

Meeting your own family from down the street

Adopted children often grow up wondering what their "real" families are like. In an essay in the New York Times magazine, a man describes meeting his birth parents. As it happened, after years of looking for his birth mother, it turned out that his biological mother and father had eventually married and ended up living not too far from where the man grew up with his adoptive parents.

He describes his sharing his experience with his wife this way: "I showed her all the photographs [from my birth mother], which she took and framed and added to the wall of our apartment devoted to family pictures. Even now, the pictures . . . cause me to do a double take as I walk by them, not so much wondering, Who are those people, as thinking, Oh, there you are."

An old family, which felt like a new family, now feels like an old family.

(Photo by Jeff Belmonte; used by permission.)

We love our pets... part two

Vets and pets. Veterans who have injuries or disabilities from war are receiving help from service dogs. This piece in the New York Times tells the stories of wounded soldiers and the ways their dogs help improve their physical and mental health. A nice story to honor our country's vets. The story includes a slideshow of photos too.

(Photo by soldiersmediacenter; used by permission.)

Dirge Without Music by Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:

Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned

With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,--but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love--
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind,
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

(Photo by dbking; used by permission.)

"Mama Africa" lived an inspiring life

The great South African singer, Miriam Makeba, died this week. Her story and singing are nearly legendary. Check out her obituary from the New York Times. National Public Radio also has her story with audio links from Morning Edition.

Here is part of the Times story:

Music was a central part of the struggle against apartheid. The South African authorities of the era exercised strict censorship of many forms of expression, while many foreign entertainers discouraged performances in South Africa in an attempt to isolate the white authorities and show their opposition to apartheid.

From exile she acted as a constant reminder of the events in her homeland as the white authorities struggled to contain or pre-empt unrest among the black majority.

Ms. Makeba wrote in 1987: “I kept my culture. I kept the music of my roots. Through my music I became this voice and image of Africa, and the people, without even realizing.”

(Photo by Georgios Kefalas/AP)

"The long arm and the hungry mouth of the law"

Schools, nutrition, and bake sales collide in this recent story in the New York Times. I am all for teaching children about healthy eating and nutrition, but a cupcake ban?!! Why should school policies or state regulations take the place of ordinary common sense and self-discipline?

In Berkeley, Anna X. L. Wong, a kindergarten teacher at Jefferson Elementary, incorporates “good foods” versus “bad foods” into the curriculum and offers her students healthy snacks, including edamame.

UGH!

(Photo by D'Arcy Norman; used by permission.)

Talking about money with family members

The New York Times offers this "conversation" between adult child and parent.

This excerpt could be from either side of the conversation:

I don’t know whether you’re in over your head on your mortgage, for instance. I don’t know about your other debts either, whether you’re using credit cards responsibly. You talk a good game about your job, but I’m not sure how much security you really have.

So here’s an offer: I will start opening my finances up to you, but how about you doing the same for me, O.K.? You’re an adult, but I worry about you plenty, as I always have.

(Photo by cmiper; used by permission.)

Learning to combat dementia

The New York Times offered this fascinating piece on how learning, especially in the Montessori method, has been found to assist those with Alzheimer's disease to remember and learn. Something in how the brain acquires, stores, and processes memory is prompted by physical and motor learning.

Check out this excerpt:

Montessori-based programs for the elderly build on the work of Barry Reisberg, a New York psychiatrist who coined the term “retrogenesis” to describe the way the mind’s deterioration reflects its development: the first faculties to develop are the last to go. For instance, children around age 2 begin to understand their image in a mirror as a reflection of themselves, rather than a separate person; people in advanced stages of Alzheimer’s lose that distinction and are often frightened by mirrors, especially in bathrooms, where they think a stranger is watching them. Understanding this helps gerontologists recognize the problem not as random disorientation but as a predictable condition.

. . .

Similarly, just as physical skills and habits develop early, people with severe memory loss can often sing, read, manipulate a screwdriver or play a musical instrument even when they have difficulty maintaining a conversation. Montessori techniques build on these skills and habits, with the goal of improving quality of life and independence by using cognitive strengths to neutralize weaknesses, making frequent use of repetition to create unconscious learning.

(Photo by joguldi; used by permission.)

Reluctance by Robert Frost

Out through the fields and the woods

And over the walls I have wended:

I have climbed the hills of view

And looked at the world, and descended;

I have come by the highway home,

And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,

Save those that the oak is keeping

To ravel them one by one

And let them go scraping and creeping

Out over the crusted snow,

When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,

No longer blown hither and thither;

The last lone aster is gone;

The flowers of the witch hazel wither;

The heart is still aching to seek,

But the feet question, "Whither?"

Ah, when to the heart of man

Was it ever less than a treason

To go with the drift of things,

To yield with a grace to reason,

And bow and accept the end

Of a love or a season?

Studs Terkel relayed many great stories

Studs Terkel, the great American story-teller, died on October 31 at age 96.

An excerpt from the L.A. Times obituary:

Blending journalism, history, sociology and literature, Terkel traipsed across the country, tape recorder at the ready, for the next 3 1/2 decades [beginning in the late 1960s].

"I tape, therefore I am," Terkel used to say. "Only one other man has used the tape recorder with as much fervor as I -- Richard Nixon."

. . . Terkel said he had but one goal for each of his books: to open new worlds for his readers. He wanted them to feel what it was like to be a laid-off factory hand during the Depression. Or a soldier facing his first enemy fire. Or a black businessman, or a poor Latino. Or a Miss USA.

"If I can get that in a book," Terkel said, "that's what it's all about."

Thus, in "Hard Times," he probed the guilt many senior citizens felt for having survived the Great Depression. In "Working," he let Americans vent about their jobs -- and found a depressing majority saw themselves as automatons. In "The Good War," he got his subjects to discuss racism, officers shot in the back by their own troops, and other topics that mainstream historians had shied away from."

No one has done more to expand the American library of voices," President Clinton said upon awarding Terkel a National Humanities Medal in 1997.

And his epitaph: "Curiosity did not kill this cat."

When the "Supremes Court" rules on a break-up

"It is our opinion that stopping in the name of love is not only the compulsory duty of the philandering party, but it would be irresponsible for him to do otherwise, pursuant to the aforementioned instances in which we have been both good and sweet to you, as well as the imminent risk of breaking the court's heart. Think it o-o-ver."

This is an excerpt of an Onion story, "Supremes Court Upholds Stopping in the Name of Love in 2-1 Decision."

I can't wait until Tina Turner joins the court and they rule on "What's Love Got to Do with It."